Satire: Day in the Life of the Amherst Mammoth Mascot

The day began bright and early in the Zü, where the Mammoth Mascot rests her head each night. Mammoth shared, “I’ve found that it’s the most accepting place for me on campus. The other mammals and I get along well, and I love raiding the pantry for seeds and sprouts.”

Before heading out, Mammoth gets dressed and ready for the day. She walked us through her hair-care routine as we got ready, “TikTok told me I have type 2B hair, so I invested in avocado oil and Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk products, totally recommend.”

Following her morning routine, the Mammoth took a scenic trot to Converse Hall for her daily morning debrief with President Michael Elliott. “It’s just the best way to start the day,” Elliott shared. “Some people have an office dog, but we have the Mammoth. She’s been a great addition to the admin meetings.” Mammoth specifically cited how much she appreciated her and Elliott’s routine scratch sessions, “He gets behind my ears, just the right spot.” Elliott remarked, “I totally agree, Mammoth can always get this place on my back that I can never reach.”

After her morning adventures, Mammoth naturally needed to refuel for another day packed with adventure. Off to Val, she goes! Mammoth shares that Val is where she gets to catch up with Amherst Students.  

Following her meal, Mammoth went on a short stroll to Beneski to visit her ancestors. “I always try to spend quality time with Bebu. Keeps me humble, knowing how far I’ve come to be in this position. I feel really empowered to be in such a public-facing role.” While at Beneski, Mammoth says she often spends an hour or so meditating and journaling. “I’ve found it very grounding to practice my reflection in such a safe space,” she said.

Next, Mammoth hopped on over to the Science Center. Mammoth told The Student that she recently began a top-secret project there: “While I can’t share too much, I will say that there is currently research being done on the possibilities of the revitalization of the mammoth species.”

A few hours in the lab makes Mammoth a little stir-crazy, “I love to go down to the fields to play off some steam. I’ve tried basically every sport at Amherst, right now I’m really into softball.” Mammoth says she’s been working on pioneering a new way of pitching using her trunk. “I wind [my trunk] up really fast and release after about three full rotations. I’m almost up to 45 miles per hour.”

After a long day of high fives, campus pride, and cheering along the student body, Mammoth likes to wind down with a relaxing movie. “Ice Age is my favorite movie of all time. The whole franchise is just amazing, I never get sick of them. It’s amazing to see someone who looks like you on the big screen.” Mammoth says she’s hoping to host a viewing party for the sixth Ice Age movie when it comes out in December 2026.