Satire: Why Duncan Robinson Should Be the MVP
Assistant Sports Editor Joey Supik '27 lays out Duncan Robinson's MVP case, arguing the former Williams College player deserves the award over his media-backed competition.
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Satire: Lakers Star Luka Doncic Drops to Seventh
Managing Puzzles Editor Madeline Gold '28 notes Luka Doncic's fading position on the NBA.com MVP Poll, despite his best efforts.
Chain of Events — Wednesday, April 1, 2026
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Mini Madness — Wednesday, March 25, 2026
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Satire: “This has Gone Way, Way Too Far”: Elite Amherst College Teaches Disgusting Female “Orgasms”
Managing Opinion Editor Joey Supik '27 gleefully detonates a full-blown moral panic over “sexual degeneracy” at Amherst College, satirically documenting the supposed campus conspiracy to indoctrinate students with scandalous concepts like consent, sex education, and the mythical “female orgasm."
March Minis — Wednesday, March 11, 2026
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Satire: The Innumerable Benefits of Gambling
Assistant Opinion Editor Syla Steinman ’29 revels in the absurdity of online sports and life betting, arguing that apps like Kalshi transform chance into a performative ritual of control and transcendence.