Satire: Amherst Presidents Ranked by Athleticism
Assistant Sports Editor Joey Supik '27 evaluates Amherst's list of Presidents on the most pertinent category: their athleticism.
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Satire: Why Duncan Robinson Should Be the MVP
Assistant Sports Editor Joey Supik '27 lays out Duncan Robinson's MVP case, arguing the former Williams College player deserves the award over his media-backed competition.
Satire: Lakers Star Luka Doncic Drops to Seventh
Managing Puzzles Editor Madeline Gold '28 notes Luka Doncic's fading position on the NBA.com MVP Poll, despite his best efforts.
Chain of Events — Wednesday, April 1, 2026
Try out this special edition puzzle!
Mini Madness — Wednesday, March 25, 2026
Play the new mini crosswords!
Satire: “This has Gone Way, Way Too Far”: Elite Amherst College Teaches Disgusting Female “Orgasms”
Managing Opinion Editor Joey Supik '27 gleefully detonates a full-blown moral panic over “sexual degeneracy” at Amherst College, satirically documenting the supposed campus conspiracy to indoctrinate students with scandalous concepts like consent, sex education, and the mythical “female orgasm."
March Minis — Wednesday, March 11, 2026
Try out the new minis!