10:55 a.m.: Why did the scheduling gods pick this weekend for a noon women’s ice hockey game? I should not be up at this ungodly hour.
5:21 p.m.: Time for a quick bite at Valentine to hold me over; I’m fairly certain this is my first meal at Valentine in a week.
6:05 p.m.: Wings have arrived. $10 per person will cover you for wings, pizza, chips and beverages of all varieties.
6:06 p.m.: Andre on Joe Buck: “I wish my father was really famous.” My thoughts exactly.
6:17 p.m.: Some guy named Michael Chiklis is the Boston representative who introduces the Patriots to the television audience. Will Smith is Philadelphia’s representative. I don’t even know who Michael Chiklis is. “I think Philadelphia wins that one.”�Jed. Yes it does.
6:28 p.m.: “If I were Catherine Zeta-Jones, I’d rather bang Kirk Douglas than Michael Douglas. Put that in your diary.”�Andy Bruns, Managing Sports Editor, as Michael Douglas addresses the Jacksonville crowd.
6:34 p.m.: Philly wins the coin toss followed by McNabb hugging a small child. “Donovan McNabb is an upstanding human being.”�Andre.
“Donovan McNabb is a bitch; Eli Manning is a champion.”�Jed.
“I want the Eagles to win just to spite Rush Limbaugh.”�Andy.
6:41 p.m.: “Rush Limbaugh vindicated!”�Ryan, after McNabb’s fumble and the Patriots’ recovery. New criteria for admission to Pond 109: No more Republicans.
6:45 p.m.: Second mention of Troy Brown’s versatility. Can we get a running tally?
6:46 p.m.: Who is the dumbest quarterback in football? Andy says Tom Brady, Jed says Kerry Collins. I say Akili Smith, although he’s no longer in the NFL. I would pay at least $100 for a list of all Wonderlic scores.
6:53 p.m.: “T.O. is probably high on painkillers right now. I bet he can’t even feel his ankle.” Is Jon Voigt an assistant coach for the Eagles?
6:58 p.m.: “Most women have probably shut the TV off or turned on Lifetime by now.” I can’t say I disagree with that after four punts.
7:01 p.m.: “Randall Gay? Fine by me.” I lied about no anonymous quotes. Sorry.
7:08 p.m.: “Rush Limbaugh is a prophet as far as I’m concerned.”�Ryan. Seriously, no more Republicans. Can we get a bouncer?
7:10 p.m.: I don’t like the way this is going. This is the first time in three Super Bowls that I am legitimately worried.
7:13 p.m.: INTERCEPTION Rodney Harrison! “McNabb is looking like Eli Manning right now with all this poor play.”�Me. “I’ll have you know that Eli Manning is on a one-game win streak right now.”�Jed.
7:20 p.m.: “Dorsey just got un-Leven-ed.”�Andre. Clever, I think.
7:21 p.m.: “Are Brady and McNabb the two best quarterbacks in the NFL?” �unidentified person. “No, Eli Manning is the best quarterback.”�Jed. (Both were immediately banned from room.)
7:29 p.m.: Great catch by Todd Pinkston. “Look at Jeff Lurie and his hippie, pot-smoking wife.”�Andre.
7:33 p.m.: “Take that, bitch”�an Instant Message from Sam Lacher, Chairman of The Amherst Student. Girls should not talk smack about football. Especially female Yankee fans from New York who have no allegiance to the Eagles.
7:53 p.m.: “Even if your wife died, there’s no excuse for you to not have another one.”�Ryan explains how all celebrities “cool enough” to be on televison at the Super Bowl should have hot wives.
8:00 p.m.: TOUCHDOWN David Givens! Eighth-straight postseason game with a TD catch. Does Givens have any eligibility left at Notre Dame?
8:02 p.m.: Reason number 43 why Republicans are banned from Pond 109: talk of stock options during game.
8:10 p.m.: Halftime, 7-7. That Eagles’ “bend but don’t break” defense the experts love so much is doing its job.
8:23 p.m.: How old is Paul McCartney? “Go back to 1969 when you had some talent.”�Andre.
8:47 p.m.: Mike Vrabel touchdown!! Second Super Bowl touchdown for the linebacker from the Ohio State University!
8:52 p.m.: I can’t even begin to describe what’s going on right now in Pond 109. XXX-rated stuff. This conversation is so far away from football.
9:11 p.m.: Touchdown Brian Westbrook. He’s dangerous and versatile.
9:23 p.m.: “There’s Bill Clinton, he’s probably like ‘this game sucks.'”�Andre. “No, he’s probably wondering where all the boobs are.”�Dan.
9:24 p.m.: TOUCHDOWN Corey Dillon! What a team player.
9:31 p.m.: “Where the **** is Freddie Mitchell?”�Jed.
9:38 p.m.: What’s up with these monkey commercials? “Do you realize someone had to have 100 suits tailored for these monkeys?”�Jon, the only Eagles fan, making his triumphant return to the conversation. Clearly he has nothing to say about the game itself.
9:45 p.m.: HUGE interception by Bruschi on a terrible throw by McNabb. Tom Brady does not make throws like that in any situation.
9:54 p.m.: How can the Eagles not be in a no-huddle right now? Andy Reid is looking more like Herm Edwards with every minute.
9:57 p.m.: Freddie Mitchell’s first catch of the night! The People’s Chump!
10:03 p.m.: Touchdown Greg Lewis. 24-21 Patriots with 1:49 left. Not sure if the DMX “suck it” was necessary. McNabb finally made a good throw.
10:08 p.m.: Why did Kevin Faulk get the ball on first and second down? What’s going on in Charlie Weis’ head? “We’re gonna go inside, we’re gonna go outside. Inside and outside.”
10:13 p.m.: Here’s McNabb’s chance to be a hero. 46 seconds, 70 yards.
10:15 p.m.: RODNEY HARRISON INTERCEPTION! “Harrison had more catches than Freddie Mitchell.”�Jed.
10:18 p.m.: “At least we’re spared the horror of the Red Sox and Eagles winning championships in the same year.”�Jed.
And that’s it! Final score: Patriots 24, Eagles 21. Dynasty continued!