Editorial: The Amherst Student’s Bold Transition to AI-Written Articles

It’s been a long time coming. We, the editorial staff at The Amherst Student, have been carefully considering the future of journalism at Amherst College — and, frankly, we’ve grown a bit tired. Tired of the relentless pressure to churn out articles week after week. Tired of sleepless nights spent poring over sources, rewriting ledes, and debating the most effective angle for every story. And, yes, we’re tired of the simple fact that we have to do the work.

With that in mind, we are announcing a major shift in how we will produce content moving forward: Starting with this editorial, The Amherst Student will be transitioning to using AI-written articles for all of our content. We understand that this move might raise eyebrows, but we want to assure our readers that this decision has been carefully thought out. It’s not just about convenience or laziness — it’s about embracing the future of journalism and recognizing that artificial intelligence offers us an opportunity to move past the mundane realities of writing, fact-checking, and deadlines.

The truth is, it’s hard to stay passionate about journalism when the joy of storytelling is dulled by the pressures of academic schedules, the ever-looming need for new content, and the constant demand to churn out “fresh perspectives” on tired topics. Many of our colleagues on the staff have long since admitted to burnout.

That’s why we’re embracing the idea that, if we can outsource this work to machines, then why not? After all, technology has been reshaping every corner of our lives, from how we learn to how we shop. Why should the field of journalism be any different? If a computer can generate stories, report on campus events, and synthesize diverse perspectives in a fraction of the time it takes us, what’s the harm in taking that leap? In fact, it seems only natural to take full advantage of a tool that can make our lives easier and the paper’s operations more streamlined.

Some might argue that using AI to write our articles will strip away the authenticity, creativity, and nuance that human writers can bring to the table. But honestly, who needs that extra baggage? We have a tendency as humans to get bogged down by personal biases, moods, and frustrations. AI, on the other hand, has no need for caffeine-fueled rants or midnight meltdowns. Its writing is precise, algorithmically sound, and — frankly — free from the kind of fatigue that plagues human writers.

Critics may also suggest that AI lacks the human touch, the deep understanding of context, and the ability to capture the subtle emotions that give stories their true depth. But do we really need that in every article? Consider how many times you’ve read through an article in the past few years that could have used a little less of that “human touch.” A quick fact-based report on an event, for example, doesn’t need to be saturated with emotional nuances. In fact, wouldn’t it be more beneficial to readers if we delivered stories without the unnecessary fluff? AI can give us exactly what we need — objective facts, clear writing, and minimal wasted space.

Furthermore, embracing AI allows us to focus on higher-level tasks. Rather than spending hours writing or revising articles, we can shift our focus to curating the paper’s vision, exploring deeper topics, and engaging with our community in ways that go beyond the limitations of the traditional newsroom. We could, for example, expand our editorial scope by engaging in more thoughtful discussions on ethics in journalism, exploring the implications of automation in society, or providing more space for critical reflection on the role of AI itself. The possibilities are endless.

In fact, some of our colleagues have already started experimenting with AI as a writing tool, and the results have been overwhelmingly positive. AI-generated pieces have proven to be efficient, accurate, and — even more surprisingly — entirely readable.

Of course, we won’t be fully replacing our editorial staff with machines (at least not yet). There will still be the occasional need for a human touch, whether it’s for editorial oversight, brainstorming new angles, or ensuring that we maintain a balanced perspective. It’s not about replacing human writers, but rather about working alongside technology to maximize our output and improve our efficiency. But for the most part, we’re ready to leave the writing to the algorithms.

In the end, we believe this shift to AI-written articles will be a positive step forward for The Amherst Student. It will give us the freedom to focus on what matters most — providing our readers with timely, relevant content, while letting the machines handle the rest. So, here’s to the future, and to a journalism world that no longer requires us to be chained to our desks, writing articles at 3 a.m. for a little bit of clout. It’s time to let AI do the heavy lifting.

And we couldn’t be more excited.

ChatGPT Prompt:

Please write me an editorial in the style of the Amherst Student explaining that the paper will be transitioning to AI-written articles, starting with this one. Please mention that we have grown tired and lazy and want an easy way to stop having to do our jobs. Make other pro-AI arguments as well. The piece should be about 850 words.

Editor’s Note: This is a satirical article written for April Fool’s.