Star Trek: One Small Step for Mammoth, One Giant Leap for MammothKind
Starting in the spring semester of 2026, the Loeb Center will debut its newest trek. Eight eligible students will be propelled into the sky and tasked with learning amongst the stars in the new space-based program: Star Trek.
2026 will finally be the year that immersive learning goes galactic.
In an unprecedented announcement this week, the Loeb Center for Career Exploration and Planning made public its new partnership with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) for the winter 2026 Amherst trek to space, titled the Star Trek.
The news, which coincided with the Zumbyes’ space-themed performance this weekend, followed a generous donation from the estate of Star Trek actor and Amherst Zumbye, Stephen Collins ’69.
A hand-selected group of eight students will take off from Kennedy Space Center in Florida after a two-day orientation after the finals period. Traditionally, astronauts spend years in physical training. When asked about the shocking lack of pre-trek training, program coordinators responded that Amherst students are “just built different.”
Many in the community (including officials at NASA) still express concern regarding potentially inadequate preparation for space-bound trekkers, especially given the recent string of ice cream scooping-related injuries in Valentine dining hall.
While Dining Services has presented no immediate solution to the ice cream issue, they are “discussing the possibility of bringing back the 10% fat Greek yogurt to optimize muscle growth” for Amherst’s soon-to-be interstellar intellectuals,” Munster Cabot, Director of College Dairy Services, said.
The eight students selected for the program will spend January term at the International Space Station networking with astronauts, applying their rigorous astronomical education, and drinking their fill of rehydrated beverages. The approximately 10-day trek (with length varying on potential gravitational and navigational challenges) will be action-packed, but leaders assert students will still have plenty of downtime to explore the area.
“I’m over the moon about this opportunity,” said one prospective trek participant. “I hear the stargazing over there is really out of this world.” An anonymous source with connections to the Loeb Center said it was unlikely this student would be selected.
President Donald Trump and SpaceX’s founder, Elon Musk, have committed to expanding “Manifest Destiny into the stars” by sending spaceships to Mars in the next 2-4 years, but Amherst has committed to being in space before that — within the year.
In a literal space race against the federal government, the trek hopes to send a clear message: funding higher education will take us to the moon, and beyond.
Editor’s Note: This is a satirical article written for April Fool’s.
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