Campus Speak

ALI ABATE ’04 ALI ABATE ’04 “I like to study in Merrill by the windows near the beach that overlooks the whole notch area.” SHIVANG SHAH ’03 SHIVANG SHAH ’03 “Steam tunnels, because the heat makes your brain work faster.” ALI HASSAN ’05 ALI HASSAN ’05 “I like to go to the president’s garden and read.” WILL ABBOTT ’05 WILL ABBOTT ’05 “I don’t really study.” FOUZIA KHAN ’04 FOUZIA KHAN ’04 “Valentine. When you’re surrounded by people you would never be caught dead talking with, your

Website of the week

This site is an online directory of many of the top literary agents, editors and publishers in the U.S., U.K. and Canada, held together by an odd bond-they’ve all rejected manuscripts by Gerald Jones, the website’s creator. Jones lists a lot of important people who would prefer not to be included in Jones’ online Rolodex, but he also includes the e-mails passed between him and the publishers as they repeatedly snub his books. The site tells of an incident when Jones rewrote a manuscript for an

Campus Conversation

[Alcohol-]free drinks Last Friday night, the famed anti-party sponsored by North College and the health and wellness theme house took things up a notch. Instead of the customary keg of root beer and shots of Sunny-D, this party featured a myriad of exotic mixed drinks, a pleasant alternative even to Natty Light. In the offing at the “bar” were virgin strawberry daiquiris, orange sherbet punch, root beer floats and sparkling cider. “Unfortunately we didn’t have ‘abstinence on the beach’ … becau

New England's Bestseller

Two of his novels have been made into film and two others are in the process of development. “Past the Bleachers,” (1992) the story of a couple who lose their eight-year-old son to leukemia was made into a Hallmark television movie in 1995 and “Midwives” (1997) was broadcast on Lifetime last year. A former publisher for The Amherst Student, Bohjalian graduated the College in pursuit of a career in journalism. Instead, he began publishing short stories and became a full-time writer. “Buffalo Sol

Spanking David O. Russell '81E

Q: How did you first venture into filmmaking? Was it always a passion of yours? A: Movies were a passion. Filmmaking was not. I never thought I’d be a filmmaker; I was never a filmmaking or cinema geek. I thought I might be a writer. Q: Then how and why did your interests change? A: I spent a good deal of time in the dream of movies both when I was watching them and when I was remembering them, probably for unhealthy reasons related to the sadness of my home. When I was a teenager, there were

Turning up the heat

Swarthout, a history major who currently serves as a student senator and member of the faculty committee on priorities and resources, was recently elected to state board chair of MASSPIRG. He started his work on the campaign to protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge soon after he stepped foot on campus. But during high school, environmental activism was nowhere on his resumé. “[Protecting the Arctic is] the campaign that I actually first worked on when I got here first semester freshman yea

Smile! You're on 'The College Show'

“It’s basically like ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’ for college students,” said Koppel. “We have all sorts of weird assignments that we ask college students to participate in. They’re little video assignments that students can send in and they can get seen by millions of students.” Koppel created the show with Harold Ramis, a director whose films include “Analyze This,” “Bedazzled,” “Ghostbusters,” “Caddyshack” and “Groundhog Day.” Aside from being a fun project, Koppel is excited that his sh

Campus Speak

SILVIA SABINO ’04 “‘What type of beer are you?’ I’d be Heineken because everyone likes my heiny.” NATHANIEL ROBINSON ’02 “‘What kind of stupid online quiz am I?’ I’d be the ‘What kind of stupid online quiz am I’ quiz.” CRYSTAL BASS ’04 “‘What method of procrastination are you?’ and then the quiz would never give you an answer.” ROB VERNICEK ’03 “‘Which D.P. Dough calzone are you?’ because I want to be every one of them.” MARYNA GRAY ’04 “I already made one. It’s the obscure art movement

Campus Conversation

As the great Groucho Marx said-oops, that came later! It all started with quotes from philosophical great Karl Marx and other pro-socialist propaganda that mysteriously appeared Wednesday morning all over the campus walkways. “People have jokingly called [and] asked me if we are commies,” said Alex Bloom ’04. “We aren’t, most of us prefer socialism.” The next day, an ongoing debate began between the socialists and the undercover teenyboppers lurking on campus. “Obviously we’ve managed to stir

This Week in Amherst History

One of many bold moves for increased freedom of the female sex occured 40 years ago this week when a group of Morrow freshmen formed CHASTE (Committee on Housing Accommodations Suitable for Tactful Entertainment) to protest the administration’s decision to forbid women from freshmen dorm rooms. “The principal speaker, after brandishing the paper mascot girl-on-a-stick (whose cape was emblazoned: “CHASTE”), told the crowd of ‘friends, comrades and bourgeois pigs’ that ‘the time has come to strik

Campus Speak

DAN GROSS ’05 “‘Tidy Whitey,’ because it’ll be snug and comfortable and everyone will want to look at it.” GEOFFREY DEWIRE ’02 “Dorms that aren’t really dorms because they’re in trailers and are called modular housing.” NICK JUVER ’05 “‘Sloppy seconds,’ because it’d be roomdraw’s leftovers.” TUAN NGUYEN ’05 “‘Crowe,’ because it sounds sophisticated like his acting.” JOANNE JOO ’04 “‘Cribs.’ It’d be funny if it turned out like the TV show.” JOE GALLANT ’04 [Future RC of modular housing

This Week in Amherst History

Seventeen years ago this week, the College instituted its current policy of locking campus residences for the entire day because a non-student was seen lurking in the dorms, according to The Student. Not only was he loitering, but the unidentified male had also been seen urinating into the women’s showers in Morrow Dormitory by Maria Inez Guardiola ’85 on Feb. 21. Two days later, he was seen again, peeing in the women’s showers in James Hall. “As he looked ‘timid,’ [Guardiola] assumed he was sta

Dances with Ferrets

NEFFER was founded last April by the former board of directors-Catherine Bell, Dianne Wood, Heather Wojtowicz and Debbie Honeysett-at a small ferret shelter as a resource for anyone interested in ferrets and ferret care. “We hope to introduce ourselves to a broader group of people and provide a fun and informative day for people who are interested in ferrets,” said Catherine Bell, vice president of NEFFER. “In the past, our events have been held at times when school has not been in session, and

Campus Conversation

A nightclub … in Amherst?! Put your disbelief aside, because at least for one night there was one in Davis 202. “The idea was to break away from the typical Amherst party: nasty light, bad music and a homogenous group of people,” said Marcela Sabino ’02. “We hadn’t thrown a party all year and we wanted to make it special. We wanted to transform our suite into a club-Club Chic.” For the debut of Club Chic, guests were invited by elegant, silver invitations, but everyone was welcome to the openin

Club Focus- Veggie

“[Veggie] originally started because people didn’t feel that there were enough vegetarian foods to eat in Valentine; the options were limited,” said Veggie president Anne-Marie Witzburg ’02. “Veggie was a way for individuals to talk to people in Valentine, to be like a liaison.” Some Veggie changes include the white boards at every station and the mini-fridge that contains vegan milks and cheeses. “You used to have to ask for things like rice milk and have a note from your doctor saying you wer

Campus Speak

“Kramer. He never works and pretty much gets to live his life however he wants.” ELIZABETH HAWKINS ’03 “None of them. I hate Seinfeld and I think it’s the worst show ever.” BRIAN HART ’03 “I guess I’d be Jerry, because he’s the star and he gets all the pretty girls.” CRYSTAL BASS ’04 “The miscellaneous ethnic person that gets weirded out by the core cast.” JOE RUBBONE ’03 “Jerry Seinfeld, because the show is called ‘Seinfeld.'” CHRIS VIGORITO ’04 “Kramer-No job, no responsibilities, no

Campus Conversation

It was a party like no other. One that seemed like it would be every sexually mature adult’s dream and every conservative parent’s nightmare: loud music, young people, alcohol and nudity. Why bother with TAP when you can get your freak on the way it was truly meant to be done-without that annoying layer of clothing in the way? After all, isn’t that what life at college is all about? Think again. To the surprise (or dismay, depending on which viewpoint you take) of some, college students could b

Congdon plays off Amherst

Q: How did your writing career begin? A: I was a poet. When I was a little girl I wrote poetry, and when I was in the sixth grade I wrote a poem about the snowfall in Colorado when I was home sick one day. My stepmother sent it to school and my teacher read it [aloud] and I was sitting in class and I didn’t recognize it. I thought, ‘That’s not a bad poem,’ and it turned out to be mine. That had a tremendous effect on me. Then I wrote songs from the time I was a little kid and played them on the

Campus Speak- If you had your own talk show, who would be your first guest?

“Tori Amos, because she’s my favorite. I’ve loved her music for so many years.” MORGAN KOPASKA-MERKEL ’05 “A politician. I would be ashamed if I had one chance at a talk show and interviewed someone superficial.” MIKE PROMAN ’03 “Randy Moss, because Minnesota sports are my life.” MIKE SCHWEDER ’05 “Bill Clinton. He’s my idol.” TOM CHUONG ’04 “I’d bring *NSYNC because I’d get all the teenage viewers and monopolize the daytime TV slots.” CRYSTAL BASS ’04 “I’d ask Nick Hexum if 311 was g

David Blight explores historic memories

Considered by some to be a pioneer in the relatively new field of memory studies, Blight was recently awarded the Frederick Douglass Book Prize for his latest work, “Race and Reunion: The Civil War in American Memory, 1863-1915,” which examines how the memories of the Civil War affected the nation in the 50 years following it. “When nations experience massive, transforming events, there is always a struggle in the aftermath and, often, for a very long time, over just what those events meant. Th

Campus Conversation

Generally, no one expects Weekly Roundup to be anything ordinary, and Friday night’s show was certainly no exception. “Anything’s possible with Benjy,” said Tory Cuddy ’04. “You should not expect anything.” After all, couldn’t we all use a good meat smashing to calm our nerves in the last week before the Thanksgiving break? Apparently, host Benjy Caplan ’03 was in a marinating mood himself, which he demonstrated with several pounds of ground beef and a large foam baseball bat. His kitchen? The

Campus Speak- If you could be a dessert, what would you be and why?

“Pumpkin pie. It’s orange, the title of the best rock and roll album of the last 10 years.” ASHLEY GLOVER ’05 “A hot fudge sundae, because it’s the perfect mixture of hot and cold.” SOMI KIM ’04 “Chocolate mousse, because you can be everything-warm, hot and still taste good.” BRIAN LANDOLFI ’02 “A cream puff, because I’m really soft and sweet.” TUAN NGUYEN ’05 “Ice cream, because it’s very sweet and creamy.” MEGAN CARROLL ’02 “Fresh strawberries and angel cake-I love the simplicity.”

Campus Speak- If you could bring a pet to campus, what would it be and why?

“An elephant, because they’re really cool and big.” JORGE ALVES ’02 “A sloth, because then I wouldn’t be the only sloth on campus anymore.” ANNA WIECKOWSKI ’03 “My best friend, because she’s my best friend and I love her.” JUDITH MONTE ’02 “My dog, Duke, to chase my roommate when she’s being annoying.” SHANE MORROW ’04 “Probably a dog, because dogs are my favorite animal.” MIKE BOIARDI ’05 “Probably anoles because I haven’t seen any lizards around here.” DANNY PEREZ ’04 “My nephew, b

Campus Speak: If you could bring back a childhood cartoon character, who would it be and why?

KEVIN LEE ’04: “Lion-O, because he’s one hell of a model American.” JENNY YUNG ’02: “She-Ra. She was really cool and had a horse with really pretty wings.” JONATHAN TANG ’05: “The Transformers, because I was completely obsessed with them when I was a little kid.” SAM BRENNER ’03: “Smurfette, because she’s hot.” GAIL ZUCKERWISE ’05: “Punky Brewster, because I loved her style. She was so unique, funny and outgoing.” TIM MAK ’02: “Optimus Prime, because he brings joy with the battle cry, ‘Auto

Campus Speak: QUESTION: IF YOU WERE ON 'JACKASS,' WHAT WOULD BE YOUR STUNT?

MARTHA NELSON ’03: “I’d like to see someone try to ride an ostrich.” WILL JOHNSON ’03: “Parachuting while naked in the middle of Valentine.” MONIKA LUND ’03: “Ski upside down with your hands in ski boots down a muddy hill.” PAM BURKARDT ’04: “I was a big fan of the tricyle joust on Jackass.” VICTORIA SALEM ’02: “Run through Amherst with an ‘I love George Bush’ shirt and flag.” JOSEPH CAISSIE ’05: “Walk across the road in a chicken suit.” CARLOS TILGHMAN-OSBORNE ’02: “Something with Tabasco

Campus Conversation

It was “lights out” by Moore last weekend when a group of unknown individuals took the campus lighting issue into their own hands. While most students would like additional lights around campus, these mavericks thought the school would be better off with less and subsequently knocked down a lamppost last Saturday night. “We shouldn’t just hack [lampposts] brutally and leave them prostrate on the ground,” said Jenny Rada ’04. “The campus is already pretty dark, and sure you get used to being in

QUESTION: if you were a pro wrestler, what would be your nickname or catch phrase?

CAT BOUDREAU ’04 “Can you smell what Valentine is cooking?” ROBERT DUMITRESCU ’03 “‘Romanian Rambo,’ because I’m Romanian.” JAMES ORRACA-TETTEH ’02 “‘Chocolate PETE WEISS ’05 “The Illustrious P-nut.” PAUL WHITING ’04 “‘The Terminator,’ because that was a nickname the baseball team gave me last year.”rocket.’ Enough said.” BESS KARGMAN ’04 “‘Big Boxin’ Bitch,’ ’cause I’m really big.” PHIL MACIAK ’05 “I’m going to rock your socks off.” DANIELLE WILLIAMS ’03 “My nickname would be Supergirl.”

Campus Speak--QUESTION: if you won the lotto, what's the first thing you would do or buy?

DEL WRIGHT ’05 “I’d take a trip to Europe for a year because the drinking age is 18.” DAREN CHEATHAM ’02 “I’d buy my own island, just to hang out.” ALICIA CARRASCO ’03 “Buy a farm with chickens and a cow. And I’d live there.” MELISSA MARTINEZ ’04 “Help my family back in Colombia and the Dominican Republic.” OLIVIA D’AMBROSIO ’05 “There’s this Patagonia jacket that I really, really want.” RICH LEE ’04 “I’d buy an island in the South Pacific, declare independence and name it ‘Richland.'” JOR

Campus Speak

HECTOR LUGO ’04 “Graduating high school and being on my own. I lived a way sheltered life.” PHIL W. TUCKER ’03 “When I realized I was never going to learn to ride a bike.” KIM KWEI ’04 “Getting rejected from the college I wanted to go to and coming here.” LISA KNOPF ’05 “The winter dance of my junior year. I broke every rule that was ever set for me. I then became a badass.” CHRIS OWENS ’03 “Going to boarding school, because it was a very big transition.” LEORA MACCABEE ’05 “Probably when m

Liberian dissident joins freshmen: Living under political asylum, Weeks '05 continues fight to prote

“Young people here have to realize their blessings and appreciate it, and they have to extend a helping hand for children out there,” said Weeks. “As long as I know that my work is getting children food, getting children hospitals, getting children medications, stopping wars, I could do this for three lifetimes.” Weeks, who was granted political asylum from the United States after facubg life-threatening danger in Liberia, joined the class of 2005 this fall as a full-time student. Dangerous li

Campus speak

VANESSA OLIVIER ’01 “At home, so I could be around my family, and in particular, my little brother.” SHANE MORROW ’04 “Killing Dittu … like his stomach.” TORY CUDDY ’04 “Relaxing at the beach-any old beach will do.” WENDY BRILL ’04 “Camping on a mountain for a month.” PATTY CHANG ’01 “Playing in the cornfields of Ohio.” DAN KIM ’03 “Touring the world with a good jazz band.” PAIGE LAWRENCE ’03 “To spend each day of it as if it were your last summer.” ELIOT HELLMAN ’04 “Bartending

All-Stars in Action

If you could take a semester off, what would you do? Megan Shields-Stromsness ’03E took two teaching jobs in her hometown of Oakland, Calif. She left Amherst last spring to teach fourth-graders with severe disabilities at Park Day School and an adult ESL class at Diablo Valley Community College. Shields-Stromsness did not leave specifically to teach. Her only prior teaching experience had been with English 6: “Reading, Writing and Teaching.” “The thinking we did about education and the actual

�Viva la revoluci�n!

“Cuba is a case where [Witness for Peace] has been working for several years trying to educate North America about life in Cuba and how U.S. policy impacts people down there,” said Irwin. “I’m not a person with any particular expertise in Latin-American studies but what I am really interested in, from the point of view of studies in religion, is the question of ethics and global political responsibility, and I think Cuba is a case where really important ethical and political questions are in pla

Club Focus

Although founded in the midst of political and racial friction, KASA’s current goals focus more on education among Korean and non-Korean communities. “Our greater goal is to enhance cross-cultural respect,” said Yoon. “We just want to celebrate the culture and to celebrate Korean-American achievements, issues and presence.” In the spirit of commemoration, KASA holds many events, like the annual banquet for chusuk, a harvest celebration day in Korea similar to Thanksgiving. “It’s a really import

Campus Speak

LEIGH BORUM ’04 “It would involve three goats, an eggbeater and a whole lot of shaving cream.” NADIA LATIF ’01 “I’d vacuum all the snow.” ELANA BERNSTEIN ’03 “Take the pillow out of my friend’s pillowcase and fill the pillowcase with shaving cream.” TOM FRITZSCHE ’03 “Hide the shower curtains in the dorms in the washing machines in the basement.” JASON CHANG ’04 “Have all the professors teach some other course during their own time slots.” BENJY CAPLAN ’03 “Switch all the books in Mer

Celebrating the year of the snake

“Coming from a really small, homogeneous white town, I’m glad I’m at a school where we can appreciate culture and have such a great turnout,” said May Nguyen ’04, one of the evening’s MCs. Over 190 people signed up for the occasion, along with faculty, performers and ASA Executive Board members, to enjoy performances such as martial arts demonstrations, singing, a professional lion dance and a delicious Asian dinner catered by China Inn. “It was a great turnout,” said Joann Nguyen ’03, also an

NSF Grant will help Goldsby continue research

“People are not aware that science is a very social activity [and that] labs are usually a very social environment,” he said. According to Goldsby, immunology, his area of research, is such a far-reaching subject because it spans molecular biology, cell biology, developmental biology and much more. “My feeling is, I don’t understand why everybody doesn’t study immunology,” he said. Goldsby has taught immunology at Amherst since 1982, and is currently teaching Biology 33: “Immunology,” and Biol

Website of the Week www.x-entertainment.com

Generation X-ers can unite at X-Entertainment.com, the site that revives our childhood afternoons and Saturday mornings, to revel in the memorable and occasionally regrettable idiosyncrasies of the 1980s. Updated frequently, the site attempts to fill the gaping hole in the lives of many Generation X-ers since the G.I. Joe series was canceled. X-Entertainment goes beyond entertainment and media to include all aspects of pop ’80s culture, like My Buddy/Kid Sister dolls and snap bracelets. There is

Campus Speak Question: what word do you most associate with room draw?

“Stressful.” CHRIS PALACIOS ’04 “Confusing mess.” SONIA NARANG ’01 “It’s like a roller-coaster ride.” PHUC PHO ’02 “Hectic.” NJOKI GITAHI ’04 “Unpredictable.” PATRICK EGEONU ’01 “I think ‘a pain in the ass’ sums it up pretty well.” JENNIE VOSACEK ’01 “Hell.” MATT WILLIS ’04 “Random. It’s mysterious because I don’t really know how it works.” LINDSAY CLARKE ’03 “The best word to describe it is torment.”

Club Focus- Amherst Feminist Alliance

Traditionally, the group has been an active participant in Sisterspeak, a nationwide celebration of women during the month of April. Throughout the month the group hosts activities such as panels and speakers, a series of movies that are relevant to feminist issues and a talent show. “This year we also plan to put together a panel about the Bush administration and the future of reproductive rights in the country,” said Ajinkya. Students will also remember the rows of hangers tied to the trees o

Club Focus- Chicana/o Caucus

This weekend, from Feb. 16 to 17, the Chicana/o Caucus will be hosting the annual East Coast Chicano Student Forum Winter Conference, a huge convention that draws students from all over the East Coast. “We’re having about a hundred students from throughout the East Coast staying on campus for the weekend,” said Young. “We hope to see many Amherst students and faculty at the great events we have planned.” The schedule is packed for this weekend with attractions such as a mariachi band, comedians,

Campus Speak

WILL JOHNSON ’03 “The day I went to the top of the Swiss Alps.” JANET NG ’04 “The day my cat found its way back home after it was missing for a few months.” KATIE FAMOUS ’01 “The day I turned 21.” BURTH LOPEZ ’01 “I’d be in NYC on New Year’s Eve at the millennium.” JAIME FISHER ’04 “The day of my high school graduation.” JOSH SHAPIRO ’01 “The day I leaked state secrets to the Russians.” DAVID ROITFARB ’03 “The day of my birth so I could do it all over again.” SOMI KIM ’04 “Yesterd

This Week In Amherst History

Tension between the classes of 1942 and 1943, freshmen and sophomores at the time, exploded sixty-one years ago this week in a dorm war, The Student reported in an article titled “Ignominious Root Marks Vain Effort To Discipline Frosh Via Dormitory Raid.” The sophomores planned the invasion carefully, but they evidently underestimated the freshmen, who “were not abed as all good little freshmen should be.” Undaunted, the invading sophomores prepared for a series of attacks, including blackouts a

Amy Speace '90 Sings Her Way Into Stardom

Music and theater were always passions for Amy Speace. Even as a young girl, she knew she wanted to pursue singing or acting as a career. She achieved her dream by setting goals at every step along the way. “I don’t think I ever wanted to be a rock star or a Broadway actress winning a Tony,” said Speace. “Even though my visions were huge, my goals were small and in front of me.” Speace’s passion for music began when she was three. Raised in a small town, her involvement in music and theater fos

Amherst Dance Taps Into Campus Talent

“[The concert was] our way of bringing together dance of all types and styles to show what we know, create, perform,” said Heather Werner ’03, a dancer and choreographer. Not all of the 48 performers in the concert were seasoned dancers. The experience levels ranged from novice to expert. Some of the dancers also choreographed for the first time. “What it becomes is a real learning experience, not only for the dancers but for the choreographers too,” explained Erzsi Palko ’02, who choreographe

Website of the Week

Ever dream of taking over the world as an ameboid? Think again because that’s not going to get you any chicks-according to one of dailyradar.com’s top 10 lists, which considers sex appeal to be “one of the most important parts of supervillainy.” Complete with sections devoted to video games, movies and random humor, dailyradar.com serves up endless entertainment everyday. The game tip sections have everything a gamer could want, including reviews, previews, hints and cheats. But even if you de

Ilan Stavans Publishes Two 'Essential' Books

Stavans has also recently published “The Essential Ilan Stavans,” an eclectic collection of essays and short stories that provide an insightful study of Jewish and Latino pop culture in the United States and Latin America. Both books seek to examine the roots of Hispanic culture in order to better understand what it has become today. This topic is one of great importance to Stavans, a native of Mexico who completed his graduate work at Columbia University and joined Amherst as a faculty member