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Opinion

Satire: Mammoth Moments in Miniature: April 1 to April 8

Mammoth Moments in Miniature provides quick updates on campus happenings. This week’s edition includes an alum talk by Beebee the Mammoth, a Pickle-Ball tournament, and a rural retreat to Williamstown.

Satire: Campus Police Log: March 29 to April 1

The latest installment of the Campus Police Log, from March 29 to April 1, can be found here.

Satire: Student Squared: Karl Miller

Satire: Student Squared: Karl Miller

In this edition of Student Squared, Editor-in-Chief Edwyn Choi ’27 chases Karl Miller as he runs through campus. A little lost, Miller shares his insights on everything from accounting to his family life.

Satire: Editorial: The Mutilation of a Front Yard and the Collapse of Democracy

Satire: Editorial: The Mutilation of a Front Yard and the Collapse of Democracy

The Editorial Board of The Amherst Student condemns the administration’s refusal to address the late-night police raid on Professor John Calvin Coolidge Jr.’s yard and its draconian sign ordinances, arguing that this deliberate silence exposes a chilling contempt for political expression.

Satire: Letter to the Editor: A Question For Dean McGayte: Where is my Wife?

Satire: Letter to the Editor: A Question For Dean McGayte: Where is my Wife?

Managing Opinion Editor Joey Supik ’27 calls on Dean of Admissions Cupid McGayte to answer directly to him about why he has not met his wife yet here at Amherst.

Satire: Welcome to They/Themherst

Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 dismantles Amherst’s 50-year celebration and proposes that Amherst become a historically nonbinary institution in pursuit of a more logically consistent future.