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Satire: “This has Gone Way, Way Too Far”: Elite Amherst College Teaches Disgusting Female “Orgasms”

Managing Opinion Editor Joey Supik '27 gleefully detonates a full-blown moral panic over “sexual degeneracy” at Amherst College, satirically documenting the supposed campus conspiracy to indoctrinate students with scandalous concepts like consent, sex education, and the mythical “female orgasm."

March Minis — Wednesday, March 11, 2026

Try out the new minis!

Satire: The Innumerable Benefits of Gambling

Assistant Opinion Editor Syla Steinman ’29 revels in the absurdity of online sports and life betting, arguing that apps like Kalshi transform chance into a performative ritual of control and transcendence.

March Madness — Wednesday, March 4, 2026

March Madness — Wednesday, March 4, 2026

Try out the new logic puzzle!

Hues on First? — Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2026

Hues on First? — Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2026

Try out the new puzzle!

February Sudoku — Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2026

February Sudoku — Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2026

Try out the new sudoku!

Satire: A Lesbian’s Perspective on How to Save Democracy

Satire: A Lesbian’s Perspective on How to Save Democracy

Managing Opinion Editor Joey Supik ’27 provocatively reframes the crisis of American democracy, arguing that lesbians’ civic engagement and cross-gender friendships offer an unexpected model for resisting political alienation and misogyny.