AAS Replaces Easter with a Non-Denominational “Bunny Day”

In its weekly meeting on Monday night, the Association of Amherst Students (AAS) voted 4-2-0 to unilaterally replace the centuries-long holiday “Easter” with the new, non-denominational holiday “Bunny Day.” The passed resolution cited the need to “unleash woke, liberal fun onto the young impressionable Amherst students” and to “end the age of neoliberal, corporate hegemony over the national supply of full-body bunny costumes.” The decision marks a turning point in world history: It is the first time that a college student government has unilaterally ended a federal holiday.

Senators and self-proclaimed “Bunny Day Bunny Masters” Rizwan Ayub ’27 and Ben Kasen ’28 co-sponsored the resolution. Ayub and Kasen unilaterally ordained the next Bunny Day to be Friday, April 10. “The sacraments are cool and all, but what about having the prize of a spa day for two?” said Ayub, speaking at the senate meeting in a bunny costume. Despite speculations, he ensured that “the costume was not purchased using embezzled school funds.”

The resolution elicited mixed responses from the senate. “I am all in favor of destroying centuries-long traditions via the student government of Amherst College, but I am a little concerned about the cost of the prizes for the event. Two-hundred-and-ten dollars for a spa day for two seems like a bit much. I just worry about the prospect of somebody winning the prize and then using it to get two sixty-minute massages by themselves,” said one senator who was not in a bunny costume and abstained in the final vote. This senator has not been heard from by friends or family since.

It was not always inevitable that the millennia-long tradition of Easter would be replaced by “culturally appropriate fun.” The event emerged from a Saturday morning conversation in March 2025 between Ayub and AAS Vice President Phuong Doan ’26. The two senators hatched an idea: an Easter Egg hunt. “I have to be real, I was into this idea initially solely for the clout,” Ayub said. 

Bunny Day nearly failed when Ayub received a “hard pass” from a professor on whether they would take up the heroic mantle of being the “Bunny Day Bunny.” However, President Michael Elliott was substantially more enthusiastic, signaling that he will be pledging his time and effort to this storied celebration; he also called Ayub and Kasen “good eggs.” Ayub and Kasen then turned to AAS. “People forget this, but two-thirds of all global issues have been very conveniently solved by late-night resolutions passed by the AAS. Have you ever heard of anybody getting the bubonic plague recently?” AAS President Shane Dillon ’26 remarked.

Ultimately, the holiday’s boosters insist that they are only getting started. AAS has its eye on more holidays, like Christmas, New Year’s Day, and Michael Elliott’s Birthday, to make them more “woke,” Ayub said. “I’m just in it for the love of the game,” Ayub remarked while hopping around the reporter and eating carrots.