Bathroom Bulletin: Robert Frost Library

To quote the college, “Few college libraries have as auspicious a beginning as the Robert Frost Library at Amherst College.” Completed in 1965, Frost Library honors four-time Pulitzer Prize-winning poet (and professor of English) Robert Frost, and is the site where then-President John F. Kennedy gave one of his final public speeches before his assassination less than a month later. 

After 60 years, Frost Library is still around. Students now debate the merit of its brutalist architecture, but the real question is whether this library’s bathrooms live up to all the prestige. 

First off, let’s put aside how demoralizing it is to poop in such an aggressively ugly building, because the library’s location is the bigger headache — it’s convenient to access if you’re on the First Year Quad, but for everyone else, it’s a workout. Especially if you’re coming from Valentine Dining Hall or Arms Music Center, as Frost doesn’t have a public entrance on the north side, effectively cutting off Noah Webster circle and creating a dead space. That’s extra time and effort, and you don’t want that when you’re holding a ticking time bomb in your stomach.

So, it seems like the building’s location doesn’t offer much. But are its facilities any better? While it might make sense to start from the top and go down, we’ve decided to start in the middle with the first floor, since we know that’s what you all want to hear about the most.

Women’s Bathroom: First Floor

Amenities: 4/5

It has the bathroom basics, with two sinks on a pretty spacious counter and two stalls. The accessible stall is huge, and there is also plenty of table space around the room with menstrual products. There is also a changing table. 

Cleanliness: 2/5

We’re trying not to let the smell bleed into this rating. Usually pretty decent, nothing too destroyed. Side note on cleanliness: The first-floor bathroom flooded one time, and it unfortunately percolated down to A-level right beneath it, drenching the DVD section with a flood of fecal matter. Don’t worry — it’s clean now. Or so we were told. 

Smell: 0.5/5

Somehow worse than the first-floor Val bathrooms. I went in over Thanksgiving break, and it still had this infectious, nasally assaultive smell. We are convinced the air on the first floor of Frost is permanently rancid. Bathrooms should always be built with ventilation! 

Traffic: 1.5/5

The central location makes for high traffic, especially during peak hours. A two-person line could result in a 10-minute wait time at least. 

Location: 4.5/5

Very great internal location. Slight walk from the edges of the library, but otherwise accessible. 

Men’s Bathroom: First Floor

Amenities: 4/5

It’s a shame that such an offensively rank bathroom has so many amenities. To start, there are two sinks, two paper towel dispensers, two soap dispensers, and two hand dryers. There aren’t any urinals, although there are two toilet stalls. One is so small it might as well be a walk-in closet, but the other is so large that it has a Koala baby changing station and a square table, with ample space still left over.

Cleanliness: 3/5 

There’s usually a decent bit of clutter on the floor, but it’s certainly in better shape than other bathrooms on campus. The toilets seem to intermittently get clogged, though, which could pose some cleanliness issues.

Smell: 0/5

Some have their faith in God shaken by grief; mine has been shaken (and shattered) by this bathroom’s olfactory atrocities, because it’s inconceivable that a higher power would’ve let something like this fester. I sometimes wonder if Kennedy would’ve consented to giving his speech here if he knew the bathrooms would smell this poorly 60 years later. 

Traffic: 2.5/5

A lot of people depend on this bathroom, although the traffic isn’t so bad that you can’t access the toilets; the smaller toilet stall is usually open.

Location: 4.5/5

It’s actually in a pretty convenient location, although if you’re all the way in the back, you’ll have to navigate your way past a few bookshelves and tables. You can also entertain yourself with the advertisement board right next outside; there’s usually something interesting.

Women’s Bathroom: Second Floor

Amenities: 3.5/5

The second-floor bathroom has all the basic bathroom needs — three stalls, three sinks, two paper towel dispensers, a hand dryer, and menstrual products. The menstrual products enhance the overall rating, but we do have to mark down the score because the extra number of stalls makes the room a tighter space to navigate. 

Cleanliness: 3/5 

There is always some toilet paper on the floor, and, at the end of the day, there are often brown paper towels overflowing from the trash can, sometimes carried outside to the hallway as well. High traffic doesn’t make for the cleanest spaces … 

Smell: 1.5/5

There’s always a stale smell in the air — not as concentrated as first-floor Frost or Val, but still frequently smelly. 

Traffic: 2.5/5 

Not bad compared to the traffic on the first floor, but it can be congested during peak study hours. 

Location: 3/5

Very convenient if you're near the writing center or the closer half of the second-floor study space. Walking over will take a minute or so if you're on the other side. Accessible by elevator. 

Men’s Bathroom: Second Floor

Amenities: 3/5

There’s nothing particularly unique about this bathroom’s amenities, although it has two paper towel dispensers, which is unusual. There are two urinals and two toilets. One urinal is placed a little too low (for reference, I’m five feet seven inches), but both are generally fine. However, the toilet stalls are a little cramped and placed a little too close to each other, meaning loud poopers might scare their neighbors. 

Cleanliness: 4/5 

While there always seems to be crumpled-up tissue paper on the floor, this bathroom is generally pretty clean.

Smell: 4.5/5 

I’m noting that a man in a red sweater had left fragments of a chocolate bombshell unflushed in one of the stalls at the time of writing this article, and even then, this bathroom didn’t smell bad at all.

Traffic: 3/5

The traffic here isn’t too bad, but the fact that you have to share bathrooms with people on both the second and third floor means the spacing might sometimes be tight. 

Location: 3/5 

If you’re studying on the second or third floors, this bathroom is pretty convenient. But I wouldn’t go out of my way for this bathroom. It’s also tucked away in a small corner, and getting there usually means walking past dozens of people.

Gender Neutral Bathroom: Second Floor

Amenities: 3.75/5

The menstrual products are never restocked. But being a single restroom bumps up the points, so it evens out. It has the rest of the basic amenities needed for any bathroom, with the added benefit of the Koala baby changing station. 

Cleanliness: 3/5 

It’s no better than the bathrooms around it, but it’s slightly better because of the reduced traffic.

Smell: 2/5

It has that same stale smell, apparently unique to all Frost bathrooms, but this bathroom is still less odorous than higher-traffic bathrooms. And yes, if you poop, the next person to enter will definitely still smell it. 

Traffic: 3/5

We feel like most people don’t really use it, at least compared to other bathrooms with more traffic. That being said, don’t be surprised if several people knock or try to open the door, especially during longer sessions.

Location: 3/5

See above.

Women’s Bathroom: A-Level

Amenities: 4.25/5

This is one of the best amenity bathrooms we’ve seen on campus. Besides the usual facilities, such as three stalls, two hand dryers, two sinks, and a paper towel dispenser, there is a nice lobby area that connects the bathroom to a lactation room. The lobby features a large mirror with both counter space and desk space, as well as sanitary products. There is the beautiful signature graffiti bathroom writing on this level, from “The Prophet” by poet Kahlil Gibran. Unfortunately, because of the outdated appliances (like the extreme water pressure in one sink and driblets in the other), we do have to deduct some points. 

Cleanliness: 4.5/5

Due to low traffic, it is usually pretty clean here.

Smell: 3/5

It doesn’t smell bad, but it’s not the perfect smell. 

Traffic: 4/5

Usually, nobody is here. 

Location: 2.75/5 

It’s tucked away from study areas, which can make it inconvenient to find sometimes. Because of its location, there is no WiFi — it can be troublesome if you want to scroll or log your poop on the Poop App (like me). 

Men’s Bathroom: A-Level

Amenities: 4/5

This bathroom is a little overprepared: three urinals, two toilet stalls, three sinks (one with a cross handle), two soap dispensers, two non-automatic hand dryers, and one tissue dispenser (tucked away in a little corner). It also has a bit of personality: The floor is a colorful grid of orange and white rectangles, while the stall doors are painted sea green. And like the women’s A-level bathroom, this bathroom’s foyer also has text from “The Prophet.”

Cleanliness: 4/5

This is a pretty clean bathroom. It’s certainly not spotless, but the quality exceeds that of many of its competitors.

Smell: 3/5

It smelled like sardines when I visited, although I’m sure that isn’t the bathroom’s usual smell. I’d say it doesn’t smell any better or worse than the other bathrooms here. 

Traffic: 4/5

The only people who depend on this bathroom are the people at A-level — this isn’t like the second floor or B-level, which can be crowded with people from other floors that don’t have bathrooms (third floor, C-level). A-level also isn’t much of a central location like the first floor, which is to say that the traffic here is pretty good.

Location: 2.75/5

It’s tucked away in a small corner next to the public computers, which means you have to tiptoe past all the people studying to get to it. For first-timers, this one’s a little hard to find, and I remember thinking a bathroom didn’t even exist on this floor for a while. 

Women’s Bathroom: B-Level

Amenities: 3/5

This bathroom is technically a single, but functionally, everyone can come in to wash their hands or do whatever, because while the stall door locks, the main door does not. The bathroom is built with a foyer room with a wall of love-letter graffiti. Inside, it is structured like a long hallway with one end being the counter — with a (empty) menstrual basket and mirror — and the other being the stall and the sink. The facilities are all pretty old, and the knobs for the sink twist inward instead of out, which can be confusing. 

Cleanliness: 3/5

Comparable to the other restrooms.

Smell: 3/5

Not bad, but there is an old building smell to the room.

Traffic: 4/5

Since there is only one stall, there could be a wait time — but overall a very low-traffic area. 

Location: 2/5

B-level is already kind of a maze. Finding this bathroom adds to it. 

Men’s Bathroom: B-Level

Amenities: 2.9/5

I’d give this section a 3/5 were it not for the embarrassingly small toilet stall that’s tucked away in a dark little corner. In any case, there are two urinals, two sinks, one tissue dispenser, one soap dispenser, and one hand dryer — nothing out of the ordinary. Finally, this bathroom also has graffiti in its foyer, from the same author as the one in the women’s B-level bathroom: 20th century Russian psychoanalyst Lou Andreas‑Salomé. A drawing of her face greets you when you open the door, though I’ve never understood how that’s supposed to make you feel, especially if you identify as a man.

Smell: 3/5

A little stale, but comparable to the other bathrooms. 

Cleanliness: 3/5

Nothing terrible. 

Traffic: 4/5

While students at both B- and C-levels technically depend on this bathroom, there usually aren’t that many people down here anyway, so the facilities are usually available. 

Location: 2/5

If you’re coming down from the staircase right next to the main entrance, then this bathroom couldn’t have been placed in a better location. But if you come in from anywhere else, you have to navigate the labyrinth that is B-level.

The Final Dump

Here are our averaged ratings:

Second floor: 3.05

First: 2.65

A-level: 3.625

B-level: 2.99

Just because the library reflects a brutalist style doesn’t mean the bathroom experience has to be brutal, too. Granted, does Frost have the worst bathrooms overall? No. Some of these bathrooms are genuinely very nice and full of personality. But should the college remodel all the first-floor bathrooms? We think so. It’s also a little odd that some of the better bathrooms are either upstairs or underground; one would think a building honoring such a famous poet would want its most public-facing facilities to be its best (especially for all the confused parents and touring students).