Bathroom Bulletin: The Lyceum

After our last bathroom article, we figured that we should lighten the mood a little bit and reassure everyone (and ourselves) that Amherst does indeed have good bathrooms on campus. To balance out the ratings, we’ve chosen the Lyceum for this week’s review.

Completed in 2023, the Lyceum holds the Center of Humanistic Inquiry (CHI) as well as the History, Latinx and Latin American Studies, and Asian American and Pacific Islander Studies Departments. The architectural style of the building combines a contemporary design with a touch of historicism. Located on the west end of campus at the bottom of Johnson Chapel Hill, it’s not the most pleasant place to walk to. It’s difficult to access unless you are already there to study, have a class there, or you live in Newport House (Hint: Take the shortcut through the back). 

The walk down the hill from Johnson Chapel requires you to angle your feet in an unnatural way so that you don’t fall, which is the last thing you want to be thinking about when your bowels are begging for a nice, clean toilet. Then there’s the climb back up, but let’s be honest: You’ve just pushed yourself to the limits in the bathroom, so why would you ever want to pick another fight with your body by climbing the Amherst equivalent of Mount Everest? These issues already peg the building down a few rankings, even if the Lyceum’s bathrooms are surprisingly good.

The Lyceum bathrooms are fairly consistent regardless of whichever floor they’re on, so we’ve decided to do only one group of rankings for all three floors. All the bathrooms are one-room gender-neutral single restrooms. They have Dyson hand dryers, automatic flushing toilets with no lids, toilet paper dispensers, circular hooks on the back of each door, and handrails for accessibility purposes. Their location is consistent on all three floors, with three bathrooms on the first floor and two on the second and third.

The only major difference between the floors is that the higher up you go, they become cleaner and less busy. The only caveat, of course, is that you either have to climb up several flights of stairs or wait for the elevator, neither of which is optimal if you really need to go. 

Here’s a brief recap of our parameters:

“Amenities” describes both hygiene products (hygiene products, etc.) as well as aspects of the bathroom’s design (faucet water pressure, etc.). 

“Cleanliness” describes how well-maintained the bathroom is in general; if a bathroom seems to be unusually cleaner or dirtier than it usually feels, we will take note of that during our evaluations.

“Smell” is a different category from “cleanliness”; Something like temperature or a lack of ventilation might mean the bathroom reeks, even if its facilities are clean. 

“Traffic” describes how vacant a bathroom is — how much difficulty someone will have securing a stall or urinal for themselves because of other occupants. 

“Location” describes an individual bathroom’s position within a building, not the accessibility or distance of the building itself. 

Second Entry: the Lyceum

Amenities: 2.9/5

You may be wondering why it’s so low. You may even feel appalled because the appliances seem so modern and clean. These bathrooms are functional, but they lack a key component that we deemed essential to give them a higher score — paper towels. 

The Dyson hand dryers are definitely modern, but some studies show that such hand dryers actually spread bacteria. Therefore, we’d rather avoid using hand dryers. Moreover, the lack of lids on the toilet also means your fecal particles might blow back onto your hands. And it’s just a hassle to use hand dryers, especially the ones in this bathroom: You don’t even know where to put your hands. Around the side? On the bottom? No — only at a very precise angle, and the air blows for only three seconds before it stops sensing your hand, and then you have to awkwardly shove your palms back and forth underneath the dryer before it starts blowing again. The air isn’t even warm.

What other things? There’s plenty of room in the restroom, but there is a critical lack of counter space. There are also no feminine hygiene products. 

Did we mention that the locks flip in the wrong direction (the switch should flip in the direction of where the door meets the doorframe, not towards the door hinge)? We’re also not a fan of automatic flush toilets in general, especially since they have a tendency to flush either while we’re still doing our business or in the middle of wiping. 

Cleanliness: 4.7/5

The first-floor restrooms tend to be a little messier, but the Lyceum’s lowest standards of cleanliness still beat out others (Val, first-floor Frost Library restrooms, etc.) by a long shot. The Lyceum’s lack of traffic makes for tidier bathrooms generally. Despite the lack of amenities, the cleanliness definitely brings up the rating. 

Smell: 3.8/5

There’s nothing special, which in itself is good because we don’t ask for much — as long as we’re not getting nasally assaulted.

Traffic: 3.9/5

Very good, as there’s generally nobody there. However, because they are all gender-neutral single-stalled bathrooms, it is possible that they will be more occupied during peak class times. 

Location: 3/5

Sometimes it can be a maze to get to these bathrooms, especially if it’s your first time in the Lyceum. At times, multiple loops need to be made before realizing you turned the wrong corner — not very intuitive placements. Furthermore, people can often see you when you’re looking for a bathroom, which makes things a little awkward; on the first floor, you have to walk past the CHI Think Tank and seminar room (which both have glass walls), while the location of the second and third floor bathrooms are placed in front of professors’ offices and other classrooms with glass walls.

The Final Dump

Despite the pitfalls with some amenities in the Lyceum, it is overall a pleasant bathroom to use. If you ever find yourself here for classes or events, don’t be scared to use these bathrooms. But don’t walk all the way there just for the purpose of trying the bathrooms, because the walk is not worth it. Here is our average rating: 3.66.