Campus Conversation

Who is Matt Baltz? The question was pasted all over the College and become more frequently asked than the obligatory “How are you?” Publicized as the mysterious TAP hero, Matt Baltz ’03, the “big man on campus,” has moved to the forefront of popularity and notoriety to become one of the most recognizable names on campus.

Last year, a group of Baltz’s friends split the tab to “buy” a TAP for him for $140 during the MASSPIRG hunger auction. Not only did Baltz unknowingly win a TAP, but the conspirators made sure that the TAP would coincide with the week of Baltz’s 21st birthday for added dramatic effect.

“We thought it was our duty as friends to celebrate his birthday by embarrassing him in front of the whole campus,” said Eva Dankanics ’03, an avid fan of Baltz.

George Cheely ’03, another devoted friend and Baltz groupie, was on the lookout for potential mates for Baltz. “We basically wanted a chance for Matt, one of Amherst’s most eligible bachelors, to meet some pretty ladies,” Cheely said.

Though the turnout was smaller than expected, Baltz and his friends took advantage of the limited resources. “At first, he seemed to use his superstar status to get with the ladies,” said Chris Vecsey ’03. “Within the first five minutes, he was dancing with two girls.”

Even the DJ stopped the music to celebrate Baltz’s birthday. “We got to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him at 1 a.m.,” said Dankanics. “But the most important thing was that Matt got to feel special. We made Matt feel special for the good of charity.”

Baltz’s sudden surge in popularity, however, did not go straight to his head. “It was a good opportunity for them to mock me as much as they could,” said Baltz, who was singled out by his friends as the one who would be publicized. “I tried to be a good sport about it and, in the end, I was just willing to accept it.”

20’s better than 21

It’s not yet recognized by the SFC or the SGO, but the recently formed Amherst Smut Society (A.S.S.) is definitely taking a permanent seat at this campus. Last Saturday night, they held the hit Roaring Twenties-style party, “Mollie Moonshine,” in honor of birthday girl Mollie Monnig ’04.

Responsible for this latest A.S.S. in Pratt event were founders Ethan Greene ’04, Becca Reeb ’04, Jay Lopez ’04 and Ben Wieder ’04, along with accomplices Mary Ann Casavant ’04 and Lawren Love ’04.

“Although the decorations were sparse, the mostly swing music, refreshments and invited guests-especially those who decided to dress up according to their ideas of ‘Twenties’ garb-made for a tight, but convivial, environment,” said Wieder.

The area easily took on a speakeasy atmosphere, with red lights, illegal booze and (plastic) silver guns in the holsters of all the young gents.

“Everyone I’ve talked to had a great time and there will certainly be more Amherst Smut Society events on the horizon,” said Wieder. “The highlight of the party was the swing dancing,” added Love.

Boas and sparkly gloves abounded on the bare shoulders and arms of the ladies, transforming a possibly risqúe TAP outfit into that of a chic, sexy flapper.

“I took pictures of the costumes [because] some of them were pretty great,” said Love. “The only drawback was the ambulance.” There was, unfortunately, an alcohol-related incident. Then again, can any Amherst party really be complete without an ambulance?