Campus Conversation

It was a party like no other. One that seemed like it would be every sexually mature adult’s dream and every conservative parent’s nightmare: loud music, young people, alcohol and nudity. Why bother with TAP when you can get your freak on the way it was truly meant to be done-without that annoying layer of clothing in the way? After all, isn’t that what life at college is all about?

Think again. To the surprise (or dismay, depending on which viewpoint you take) of some, college students could be naked, inebriated and not engaged in sexual activity.

“We were just trying to set up a comfortable environment for everyone so everyone could focus on the fun of the party rather than the fact that they didn’t have clothes on,” said an anonymous student. “Everyone abided by the rules. Well, except for the guy with the feather duster.”

A sign outside the door set such rules as “No erections. No cameras. No clothes.” Any unwarranted bodily contact was highly discouraged and there was more bodypainting than bumpin’ and grindin.’

“Really the paint made the party.” “Everyone looked so damned pretty that it didn’t even seem like anyone was naked. The weirdest part was that being naked just became normal.”

Last Friday night’s infamous nudity party in Stone was not the massive orgy that some may have thought it would be. “It was great [and] very nonsexual, less sexual than TAP,” said Lawren Love ’04. “Just very free, like a bunch of little kids being naked. We were all jumping on top of the beds and dancing.”

“At one point, a naked person walked into a room where there was a clothed person and the naked person apologized as if the naked person was the one who caught the clothed person in an ‘indecent’ moment,” a student said.

Of course, not everyone was running to Stone madly tearing off their clothing and tossing it aside on the social quad. Love was initially against the entire idea. “I was going to boycott it and not go,” she said.

But the combination of the unusual dress code and curiosity lured her, with many others, inside. You may have walked in dressed, but you certainly did not stay that way. “I really don’t know what made us go, but somehow we went and we were naked,” said Jessica Maratsos ’04. “People were like ‘did you look at other people’s penises,’ but nobody was really paying attention that much.”

Christmas in July

Last weekend’s weather had many students wondering if the campus had mysteriously relocated. Missing are the icy walkways and foot-long icicles perched and waiting to impale an innocent passerby. The “Danger: Falling Snow and Ice” signs on so many doors are good for nothing more than a joke.

“Where is the snow?” asked Wendy Mejia ’05, irked by the high temperatures on December 1. “It’s December. It’s supposed to be cold in Massachusetts in December.”

The temperature peaked at 65 degrees last Saturday, twice as high as most expect at this time of year. When winter comes to Amherst, many expect to wake up to find two kinds of frost on campus: one being the eyesore that is the library and the other being the beautiful delicate glassy ice on the grass.

“I think many people made an effort to go out and enjoy the weather because it felt like the last hurrah of the indian summer,” said Nathaniel Mahlberg ’05, who spent much of Saturday afternoon on the quad.

There is one upside to this spring-like weather. At least we don’t have to trudge through slushy puddles of soy sauce on our way to Valentine for some Ice Ban-flavored tofu. (Or is it the other way around?)

-Y.C., J.R.M.