When will Billy snap? Will Mandy ever realize that corn rows are not the way to go? What the hell is up with the name “Ytossie?” Though none of these questions were answered Saturday night, at least four parties on campus soughtto recreate the fascinating debauchery that is “Temptation Island.”
Where better to recreate this example of humanity at its worst than at TAP? Surprisingly, the Social Council did not come up with the Temptation Island theme first-the women’s hockey team would like to take credit for that. Danielle Williams ’03, who hosted the party, said that as soon as she sent out the invitation over email, at least three other groups on campus soon declared thereafter that they too would bring Belize and the Captain Morgan’s resort to Amherst-and why wouldn’t they?
Because of “Temptation Island,” students all over Amherst are gathering every Wednesday night at nine to witness the infidelities of three (down from four) couples. Like a horrible car wreck, the drama unfolds and all eyes are watching, but many viewers require a cleansing shower after viewing an hour of the repulsive yet somehow entertaining smut. Thank you, FOX, thank you very much.
That sanctimonious attitude is quite hypocritical, as the Temptation Island theme did not necessarily deviate from the goings on of a normal Saturday night.
But is that so surprising? “Temptation Island TAP? Why don’t they just call it Hook Up TAP? But I guess that would be redundant,” Dan
Teague ’03, cynically commented, So true.
Ask one student, and she’ll
tell you it’s soy sauce. Somebody else will insist that it’s molasses. Another has convinced himself that it’s beer brine. Dozens of explanations are floating around campus attempting to explain the brown, sticky, stinky and generally annoying substance that appears on the sidewalks every time a snowfall is in the forecast. But we should count our blessings. Without this annoying substance lacing the pavement, we would be spending much more time face-down in the snow during the blustery winter months.
The substance is ICE BAN, a trademarked product that is created organically and touted as effective, yet environmentally-friendly. It is also the concentrated liquid byproduct of agricultural goods, making it a cost-effective alternative to salt and other common snow removal techniques.
According to a brochure supplied by the Physical Plant, ICE BAN can be used as either a deicing agent when mixed with liquid chloride brines and applied on top of existing snow, or as an anti-icing agent when spread on the ground before a storm hits. The substance forms a layer between the snow and the ground, creating an adhesive foundation which protects against corrosion.
Physical Plant Director James Brassord highly favors the product. “Because it is environmentally friendly and relatively inexpensive, ICE BAN is our preferred method of snow and ice treatment,” he said. Brassord added that Amherst was the first institution in Massachusetts to use the product, beginning approximately four years ago. Since then, many institutions in the Northeast are now following our lead, and ICE BAN is now one of the preferred methods of snow prevention in the nation.
For most students, ICE BAN’s presence on campus sidewalks is a slight annoyance, but anyone can appreciate its advantages over the alternatives.
“I find the smell offensive,” said Seth Bernard ’03. “But if it’s better for the environment than salt, then I guess I can’t really complain about it.”