College Considers Purchasing HingeX for Students

Throughout the past semester, the college has considered a potential purchase of  HingeX — the highest tier subscription on the popular dating app — for all Amherst students. This decision was intentionally kept secret from the student body, but a Features writer who wishes to remain anonymous has sat in on one of the administration’s discussions.

“We’ve been concerned lately about loneliness here on campus,” said a representative from the Office of Residential Engagement and Wellbeing. “We’ve noticed a stunning number of posts on the campus social media platform Fizz expressing doubt about asking people out in-person, and we think offering more options for online dating might assist students who are afraid of real-life conversations.”

President Michael Elliott offered a similar explanation for the purchase. “Here at Amherst, we seek to support our students in all aspects of their lives,” Elliott said. “And since students indicate a shocking lack of what the kids call ‘rizz’ among our student body, we’ve decided to take action to help our students in their romantic pursuits.”

Some students have expressed excitement about the Hinge initiative. “I didn’t like any of my marriage pact matches,” said one senior who wished to remain anonymous, “I’m excited to meet some new people, and maybe even talk to some people off campus.” 

Encouraging students to engage in off-campus activities is also a goal of the administration. “We’ve been hearing more chatter about a campus ‘bubble’ recently,” Elliott said.“We’re hoping that encouraging more involvement with other Five College Students will help Amherst students pop that bubble.”

However, the initiative has also received some criticism for the financial strain it might put on the college’s already overstretched budget. In mid-January, President Elliott and Student Affairs notified the Amherst community about budgetary concerns and related staffing changes. This was followed by an announcement in early March detailing the Board of Trustees’ decision to increase the comprehensive fee for a school year by 3.5%. 

“This just doesn’t seem like the best use of limited funds,” one anonymous faculty member said. “Do the students really need HingeX? Would the cheaper Hinge+ subscription not be enough?”

But one member of the Board of Trustees, who approved the purchase of HingeX, defended their choices. “I personally have had great success with this subscription, and we only want the best for our students,” he said. When asked about the $100,000 yearly cost — at $50 per year per student — the trustee laughed: “I mean, go big or go home, am I right?”

Furthermore, defenders of the Hinge initiative argue that it could actually help the college’s financial situation.

“Statistically speaking, students who find a long-term partner in college tend to be more likely to donate to that college in the future,” said the same trustee. “So really, we’re just investing in our future as a college by boosting romantic connection here at Amherst.” 

Others have argued that the Hinge purchase will benefit students’ personal finances in the long term by mitigating any negative financial impacts of the tuition increase. “If you get married — which HingeX can help you with — you’ll get tax benefits!” one enthusiastic financial officer said. “So really, we’re improving the financial situations of our students for years to come.”

So, get excited as you await the activation of your HingeX accounts — they should be accessible in the next few weeks!