Rants and Raves: Jearns Bathroom

As someone who has a deep-rooted fear of dirty, squalid non-single-stall restrooms (see: Arms), finding the right restroom is something that has been extremely important for my college experience. I have to consider how each restroom balances availability, size, distance, and smell. For instance, a restroom can be near-immaculate but its quality may still be hindered by the distance required to reach it. Out of all the incredible options Amherst has to offer, there are few I love more than the two gender-neutral, single-stall restrooms in the Jearns (James + Stearns) basement. They are so good that I will sometimes walk all the way from Frost Library just to use them, especially in an emergency. Not only are these restrooms single occupancy, but they’re also almost always available and empty. They’re spacious, too. They’re so spacious that they make a normal restroom stall feel offensively small — even claustrophobic (if they haven’t felt like that already).

That being said, it would be foolish of me not to discuss the other, equally incredible singles restrooms on campus: Frost’s second floor, Chapin’s basement, and obviously all the singles restrooms in the Science Center (especially the ones at the far back because they have window sills for any backpacks or coats that won’t fit on the hooks) and the Aliki Perrotti and Seth Frank Lyceum. If you’re interested, there’s a comprehensive list of the college’s restrooms online, most of which I haven’t had the opportunity to use. Sadly, the aforementioned picks are constrained by either their limited availability or distance, especially for more isolated buildings like the Science Center and the Lyceum. Even though these are hands down the best restrooms on campus, I am not trekking what feels like seven vertical miles there and back just to use them unless I’m planning to stay. As for Chapin, I can justify using its singles restroom over Frost’s only if I’m coming out of Val: I will always take walking over to Fayerweather Hall or Chapin’s restrooms to avoid Val’s first-floor men’s restroom. Credit where credit is due, though, Val’s basement and dormitory restrooms aren’t bad.

Distance aside, I also have to consider availability options. While Frost and Chapin’s singles restrooms are incredible, I cannot overstate the importance of having two options instead of one. It’s common to find the second-floor gender-neutral restroom in Frost occupied, as it’s a pretty popular spot. Moreover, some of the restrooms in Frost, like Val’s, are perpetual olfactory violations (the first-floor men’s restroom). I’ve seen similar traffic with Chapin basement’s restroom (especially because some of the odors on the upper floor male restrooms are diabolical), but not nearly to the same extent as Frost’s. Where I haven’t seen such high rates of occupancy, though, is in the Jearns basement restrooms. They always seem to be available, despite the basement’s high traffic — the laundry room and the Outing Club’s gear locker are down the hallway.

It’s for all these reasons that I love the Jearns basement restrooms. They strike the perfect balance of availability, distance, and room quality on campus; true to Amherst’s liberal arts core, it’s the most well-rounded pair of restrooms on campus. I am truly grateful for these restrooms, and I hope they serve as exemplars of good restroom design for future facilities, such as the new student center and dining commons.