Satire

That’s it for Fizz — this week, faculty voted 166-1 to ban the app in defense of President Michael Elliott, who reportedly received one too many hate messages on the site. Starting April 2, students will no longer be able to access their accounts.

Amherst has introduced its newest major, “Strategic Illusionism,” which starts next semester. The major is intended to better prepare students for the current job market.

The Student has been awarded Amherst’s newly created honor, the Hadley Arkes Prize, for its representation of conservative voices. Members of the prize’s selection committee emphasized the need for diversified political discourse.