Amherst Presidents Ranked by Athleticism

Have you ever wondered how athletic past Amherst Presidents are? No? Too bad! I’m going to tell you anyway! Here is a compiled list of every Amherst President ranked, in my professional opinion, by their athletic ability — enjoy!

20. George Daniel Olds

The guy literally has “old” in his name — how could he possibly be athletic enough to be president of this here college? Olds couldn’t compete with the athletes of today, and certainly not his contemporaries, past, present, and future. Olds ranks 20th.

19. George Harris

While Harris doesn’t have anything working against him, his name reminds me too much of Olds, and so he has an unathletic aura by association. Harris must follow Olds, and thus ranks 19th on my list.

18. Arthur Stanley Pease

Pease is his name, ease is his game. I seriously doubt Pease can compete with the many athletic Presidents we have, and his picture on the website doesn’t inspire confidence. Arthur ranks 18th, Pease, and thank you.

17. John William Ward

We now enter the portion of the list filled with people who aren’t unathletic but don’t exactly fit the athletic mold either. Ward is a fine president and possibly a fine athlete, but doesn’t have a legacy that backs the athletic agenda. Ward falls to 17th on this list.

16. Peter R. Pouncey

Why does Pouncey get to have an initial instead of a full middle name? Why does Pouncey get this special treatment? It’s absurd. The college should be ashamed of this unorthodox and clear bias. For their initial-based sins, Pouncey is 16th in this ranking.

15. Merrill Edwards Gates

Gates had the previous science center named after him, which normally would be a good thing if it were not the Cohan of academic buildings. Though Gates still gains aura from this, it is not enough to carry him up this list of athletic presidents. We open the gates to find Merrill in 15th place.

14. Charles Woolsey Cole

Cole was a legend, yes, but also a major stat padder. You can go through the archives and see that he was carried by an incredible faculty. People can say “Joey, how is Cole not top five?” or “Joey’s ranking is awful,” but I’m the only one brave enough to say it like it is. Cole is 14th.

13. Heman Humphrey

You may think, “Hey, isn’t this the guy the Zu is named after?” Wrong! Although Humphrey is the second president, he is a significant downgrade from the first, Zephaniah Swift Moore, in terms of athletic ability. Humphrey could be a force to be reckoned with alone, but doesn’t rank well against the best-of-the-best of Amherst Presidents. Thirteenth is where Humphrey places on my list.

12. Stanley King

Now we’ve entered true athletic status. While King was a solid president, his athletic aura was strong enough to will himself a fantastic dorm and 12th place on my list. King was a great president whose athletic ability was best known through his famous arm wrestling competitions. While he was eventually bested by a future Amherst president, he still holds a strong place in the hearts of Amherst athletics fans everywhere. King is 12th.

11. William Augustus Stearns

Stearns, as a dorm, is incredibly athlete-coded, despite the fact that the president wasn’t particularly known for his athletic prowess. Stearns (the dorm) does some heavy pulling to get the president up this far on the list, and knocks on the door to my top 10. However, the dorm can only get President Stearns so far; he’ll have to settle for 11th.

10. Anthony W. Marx

Of course, Amherst has a president named Marx. Typical liberal arts college. However, Marx looked like a fairly athletic guy despite his liberal arts roots. I can’t wait for the day students will want to go to a building here and say, “Let’s go study at Marx.” In the meantime, Marx will have to settle for being 10th on my ranking list.

9. Julius Hawley Seelye

The next two presidents have dorms named after them that truly reflect the athletic spirit: Seelye and Hitchcock. Whether it is the late-night functions or the general makeup of these dorms, Seelye and Hitchcock represent the student-athlete experience. Despite this, they don’t seem like athletes, which hurts their ability to sneak into the top five. Seelye places ninth overall.

8. Edward Hitchcock

See more above. Hitchcock is eighth on my list.

7. Biddy Martin

Martin’s athletic ability may not have been the most well-known fact about her presidency, but it was certainly not hidden either. Many gym-goers remember Martin pumping iron every Saturday, benching 315 pounds during her last three years as president. Martin was an athletic and academic menace, and her legacy among students should reflect as such. Martin ranks seventh overall.

6. Calvin Hastings Plimpton

Plimpton is the definition of an aura farmer, but he does it completely right. This president is known for the Plimpton and the Hastings apartments, as well as a first name reminiscent of the only US President, Calvin Coolidge, who graduated from Amherst. Plimpton’s quote on the website says, “Just as Amherst is great because of its individuals, so individuals can become great because of Amherst College.” Holy peak. Plimpton ranks sixth. 

5. Julian Gibbs

Gibbs’ athletic ability may not be entirely apparent to most, but he ranks second in most hypothetical athletic categories. For those who know basketball, Gibbs is the Tim Duncan of Amherst presidents in terms of his silent athleticism. If more students knew about Gibbs, he would likely be so well-received that it would be blasphemous for me to leave him out of the top three. Gibbs goes to fifth overall.

4. Tom Gerety

Take a look at this guy. Gerety has the athletic frame of dreams. Some would say he framemogs. They would not be wrong. Gerety looks like the Michael Elliott before Michael Elliott. I strongly believe that if Gerety were here today, he would be on the track and field team competing for Div. III titles. Gerety is fourth on my list. 

3. Alexander Meiklejohn

Based on what records we have about Meiklejohn, he holds one of the greatest athletic legacies of them all. Meiklejohn was part of the undefeated imaginary pickleball and polo teams, taking them to the national championships as a part-time coach. Moreover, this is the Meiklejohn that we name our fellows program after. While it’s not athletic in nature, the program adds an entirely unique athletic aura to Meiklejohn. The legendary Meiklejohn ranks third. 

2. Zephaniah Swift Moore

Moore was the first president of this institution and traveled all the way from Williamstown to Amherst to found this great college. Do you know who also travels across New England and the country for the glory of Amherst? All patriotic athletes. Moore was the blueprint for all the amazing athletes that represent our school, and no one should ever hold his short tenure against him, considering how incredible he was in such a short period of time. Moore really couldn’t rank any lower than second on my list.

1. Michael Elliott

It’s probably recency bias, but Big Mike solos this list. How many previous students, no, colleges altogether can say that they have run marathons with their president? I doubt many. He is the current president, and, in my professional opinion, the most athletic president in Amherst’s history.