The Violence I Carry in My Pocket
Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 exposes the relentless scroll of death and violence online, arguing that our digital immersion desensitizes us, erodes empathy, and makes human suffering feel ordinary.
Caroline Flinn '28
Satire: Rating Things in the Newsroom That Just Make Sense
Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 and Assistant Opinion Editor Syla Steinman ’29 lament the Editorial Board’s goodbye to the newsroom in Morrow Dormitory at the end of the semester, rating the objects they so deeply cherish.
Satire: AAS Designs Land Bridges to Connect Campus Buildings
In response to low temperatures in the winter term, AAS plans to construct land bridges connecting nearly every building on campus, including the Science Center, the Greenway dormitories, Frost Library, and other facilities. The initiative will replace all the AAS projects for the incoming year.
Satire: Welcome to They/Themherst
Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 dismantles Amherst’s 50-year celebration and proposes that Amherst become a historically nonbinary institution in pursuit of a more logically consistent future.
Satire: Galloping Toward Greatness: Inside Amherst College’s Most Revered Athletic Dynasty
Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 gallops into Amherst’s most important athletic team, arguing that the hobbyhorsing team’s obsessive training, ceremonial routines, and metaphysical competitions can turn even a stick into a symbol of institutional pride.
Ballet Doesn’t Need Saving — It Needs Rethinking
Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 interrogates Timothée Chalamet’s dismissal of ballet, arguing that the art form’s endurance lies not in preservation but transformation — revealing how even its most rigid traditions are continuously reshaped from within.
Welcome to Scamherst College
Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 dissects the rising cost of attending Amherst College, arguing that the institution’s nearly six-figure tuition reflects a pattern of misplaced priorities that leave student-facing programs and workers underfunded.