Men's soccer dominates Little III

The men’s soccer team started the season with mixed results. The team dropped its home and season opener to Tufts University on Sept. 14. The Jeffs drew first blood when quad-captain Chris Kane ’03 scored the first goal of the game at 16:59. Tufts rebounded quickly and scored the final three goals of the game to win 4-1. The two teams would later meet in the first round of the NESCAC Tournament. The team notched its first victory against NESCAC competition on Sept. 21, defeating Bates College 3

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Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a huge player. Like a lot of guys at this college, I’ve gotten plastered, gone to TAP and brought back a dim-witted girl for a night. My roommate wasn’t happy; unfortunately, neither was I when the chick wouldn’t leave my bed. But, with insightful articles like “Getting her out of bed: You tagged her, you bagged her, now get her to leave,” I’ll never have that problem again. Mental Discharge is a new online magazine providing astute analysis in its features, s

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For most Americans, exposure to Japanese cultures comes in the form of the USA network’s “Banzai Movie Friday,” “The Karate Kid” and episodes of the “Iron Chef” on the Food Network. But there is another side to Japanese society unknown to most Americans. Ever since General Douglas MacArthur brought Japan its first taste of American culture, the Japanese have been highly imitative of their counterparts across the Pacific Ocean, as seen by the emergence of baseball as Japan’s national pastime. Cha

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Born and raised a Buddhist, I was not exposed to the rich stories of the Bible in my childhood. But if college is the time to experience new ideas and broaden my horizons, now is the time to start learning about western culture’s most important piece of literature. My problem with studying the Bible, however, is its massive length. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, however, each story in the Bible can be retold in a short series of images that is sure to interest and humor both the scho

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One of my favorite television shows from the mid ’90s was “The Critic.” What attracted me to it was the show’s main character, Jay Sherman. I identified with Sherman because we had similar tastes in movies-we tend to think every film stinks. Imagine my joy when I discovered on the Internet a film review site that told it like it is. With ratings ranging from “Proof that Jesus died in vain,” to “Almost tolerable,” Mr. Cranky is sure to inform and entertain the cynical critic at heart. One of thi

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He’s a sex god, a cult phenomenon and alive in a trailer park in the Midwest, possibly with aspirations of moving to Amherst in the coming year? Elvis’ legacy will probably never die and the effect that Elvis impersonators have on women cannot be overstated. Ladies swoon for a man with sideburns that can shake his hips like nobody’s business. For these deprived women, I recommend Chelvis, the Chinese Elvis. At Chelvis’ official website, you learn about the magical night when the King of Wok and

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Working on the newspaper, I know as well as anyone the importance of extensions. But, what if you have a problem set due tomorrow and, instead of writing your paper, you decide to participate in a Beirut tournament in Valentine? Now with the “extensionmatic,” your buzz should not affect your ability to beg; the begging has now been automated. With a simple set of drop-down menus, you can customize the extensionmatic’s letter to your own style. Best of all, extensionmatic will even send the emai

Website of the Week- www.grudge-match.com

In a previous matchup between Tigger and Calvin’s imaginary friend Hobbes, Christopher Robin and Calvin are enjoying a relaxed dinner while their respective tigers are left to starve under the table. A lone tuna sandwhich on the floor in the distance sparks a ferocious appetite and an equally heated battle between Tigger and Hobbes. One possible outcome? A merciless victory by Tigger. After all, “Tigger has the experience. While Hobbes has been limited to merely hunting a six year old human chil

Football loses heartbreaker, Women's lacrosse loses by one

#3 Football loses “The Big Game” When a 7-1 football team is only the third greatest Amherst sports story of 2001, it could only mean that 2001 was a remarkable sports year indeed. Regardless, Amherst-Williams always has a special kind of intensity that only historical rivalries can have. This year’s edition of “The Big Game,” on Nov. 10, was no exception. This year, however, the game had added significance. Besides bragging rights, what was up for grabs was a perfect season and the NESCAC an

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We turn to Books-a-Minute. Though I am a big Austen fan at heart, even I recognize the impossibility of reading one of Jane Austen’s works in a single night. With Books-A-Minute, I don’t have to. Here’s a summary of the Collected Works of Jane Austen. “Female Lead: I secretly love Male Lead. He must never know. Male Lead: I secretly love Female Lead. She must never know. (They find out.) THE END.” With concise and poignant language like that exhibited by Books-A-Minute, my professor will never k

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With such insightful thoughts as: “Godzilla-not real threat to Japan,” “3 p.m.-status report due on Cheney’s desk” and “COORS silver bullet: no slowing down. Can help economy?” perhaps the Presidential Palm Helper can even help you get organized once midterms start rolling around again. After all, it couldn’t help to know, “Hungary: Country (not just reason to order wings).”

Women's team continues recent success with third place finish

In the slalom, the women were paced by Sara Sklar-Heyn ’05, who was followed by Kelly Smith ’04 and Megan Kahn ’04. Sklar-Heyn is currently ninth overall in the division. In the giant slalom, the Jeff attack was once again led by Sklar-Heyn and Smith who led the women to an overall third place team finish. Amy Randall ’04 was the third Jeff finisher. The men had a rough weekend, but are showing signs of improvement. In the slalom, the men’s team finished eighth. Men’s captain Seth Fitzsimmons ’

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Haven’t had enough? Try Star links, a program that can link any two actors together. I tried linking Laurence Olivier, the legendary Shakespearean, with the governor from the great state of Minnesota. And, sure enough, Laurence Olivier was in “The Jigsaw Man” (1983) with Michael Caine, who was in “Miss Congeniality” (2000) with Jesse Ventura. Not bad for a guy who would wear a feather boa to the ring.

Finding unity in tragedy

When I first visited Amherst two years ago, I kept hearing the word “community.” Amherst is marketed as a small college where every student has a sense of community; people learn to bond and share experiences together. The native New Yorker in me thought it complete rubbish. During my freshman year, a time of relative peace in this nation, it seemed I was right. Students mainly stayed within their own cliques and, I noticed, never really discussed controversial issues. They kept to what was the

Track moves outside for spring

The women’s team “After several months of working out and competing indoors, I think everyone is looking forward to being able to run outside,” said Tri-captain Amie Shei ’02. Tri-captain Molly Burnett ’02 agreed. “We have a lot of people coming off of their indoor seasons with personal best times, and it will be great to see people build off of this base in outdoor track,” she added. “Everyone is very excited about the upcoming season and I think we are quite strong,” said Tri-captain Courtn