Satire: Amherst to Raise Tuition for Bobsled Track
Assistant Sports Editor Ethan Niewoehner ‘29 covers a recent Board of Trustees decision to build a bobsled track on campus, set to be completed by 2035.
Latest
Satire: Professors in Phased Retirement Are to Participate in AI Pilot Program
AAS plans to launch an AI pilot program called “Virtual Faculty Engine” for professors in phased retirement after a 35-20 faculty vote in favor. This will include online avatars of professors for students to interact with. Details will be announced in a school-wide email on Friday.
Satire: AAS Replaces Easter with a Non-Denominational “Bunny Day”
The replacement of Easter with a non-denominational “Bunny Day” marks the first time that a college student government has unilaterally ended a federal holiday. The winner of the 2026 “Bunny Day” egg hunt will be rewarded with a spa day sponsored by AAS.
Satire: Mammoth Moments in Miniature: April 1 to April 8
Mammoth Moments in Miniature provides quick updates on campus happenings. This week’s edition includes an alum talk by Beebee the Mammoth, a Pickle-Ball tournament, and a rural retreat to Williamstown.
Satire: Campus Police Log: March 29 to April 1
The latest installment of the Campus Police Log, from March 29 to April 1, can be found here.
Satire: Student Squared: Karl Miller
In this edition of Student Squared, Editor-in-Chief Edwyn Choi ’27 chases Karl Miller as he runs through campus. A little lost, Miller shares his insights on everything from accounting to his family life.
Satire: College Considers Purchasing HingeX for Students
With increasing student loneliness, administration voted to make HingeX subscriptions available college-wise to encourage connection on and off campus. Staff Writer Savita Jani ’28 investigates the reasons for the decision, as well as conflicting opinions given Amherst’s recent financial landscape.