Behind Closed Doors: Sex and the Amherst Campus

Note: A few weeks after the party, the writer asked the interviewees for permission regarding the publication of their quotes.

How often are students having sex at Amherst College? Who are they having sex with? How are they meeting their partners? How often are students using condoms? I set out to answer these questions as I approached the crowd in front of Jenkins (Jenks) the Sunday before the start of classes on Tuesday, Sept. 1. Although it is my last semester at Amherst, this was my first time at Jenks. I wish I could be like Carrie Bradshaw and write about my and my girlfriendsʼ fascinating sexual escapades, but to be frank, none of us have as much sex as the average student I met at Jenks. So, I decided to conduct field research to investigate the realities of sex life on campus.

When I am seeking out good music, vibes, or drinks, Jenks is not the first environment that comes to mind. But, as I would find out, it is a good place to meet new people; the open front lawn where students congregate around beer pong tables is more conducive to conversation than any party held in the cramped and sweaty dorms. I went up to a random student athlete and asked her thoughts about the party to see if she was a viable interviewee, but refrained from questioning anything beyond athletics once I found out she was a freshman. It was still nice that we didnʼt have to scream over the music or huddle in a tight and sweaty corner to chat. 

I continued to do my solo laps around searching for people to question and ran into an acquaintance. I asked her if she would be interested in answering a few questions about her sex life and she agreed, immediately informing me that she has been hooking up with a guy I had seen her with earlier in the day. She disclosed that she usually does not hook up with her friends, but that this guy was an exception to this rule; he was a friend that had the privilege of rising (or perhaps falling) to the hookup-tier. Since she seemed eager to reveal some personal gossip, I asked her about the amount of partners she has sex with during a semester. She told me that she typically ends up sleeping with two partners at separate occasions throughout the semester. Thanks to them, she keeps a steady routine of having sex around once a week. Another girl, who also vocalized her “no sex with friends” rule, told me she had sex six times with six different partners last spring.

I felt prudish in comparison. When I discussed my findings with my friends, they realized they were not as sexually active as they could be. What were we doing wrong? How are students managing to have a healthy amount of sex during the semester? Should we branch out and do sex tourism at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, Smith College, or Mount Holyoke College to keep the drama outside of our dorms? I had just started to flirt with the idea of a Hampshire College speed-head rockstar boyfriend before the former Five College Consortium ruined my chances of getting lucky at Prescott Tavern. 

I doubt I would be successful at having more sex with strangers, considering how incompetent I was at attracting male attention at Jenks. To my dismay, most of the men I attempted to scout out to question from the hoard of 18-23-year-olds were already talking to girls. I went up to a group of three guys from various sports teams and exchanged names. I told them about my experience as the Athletics Department photographer to garner both their interest and respect for me. Despite my blue Brandy Melville top, they did not continue our conversation beyond a handshake. They went hunting for their friends, girls, or both. As I searched for more informants, my second and third questions were answered. Many students meet their one-night stand, or one of their many partners for the semester, at a party like this: an assortment of athletes and NARPs (Non-Athlete Regular Person) with nothing better to do than hook up with each other. 

The party was later shut down by cops shining their flashlights on our faces at 11:30 p.m., disappointingly early compared to the already tame 1:00 a.m. deadline, and interrupted me as I tried to ask my second female interviewee about how often she uses condoms. Before I left, a guy told me he only uses condoms during the first few times with a partner. If he is in a relationship or his partner is on birth control, they donʼt use a condom. He felt quite exposed by my question and, in response, turned the interview to me and asked how often I use condoms. My response prompted him to ask, “If you’re pro-choice, why donʼt you choose yourself?” 

I wasnʼt sure what to make of this comment. When I have sex, I’m choosing myself, but I’m also choosing the guy. I started to think about the instances I found out I liked something just because it was done in a moment of exploration, rather than a deliberate and independent choice. I was curious about how other girls felt about their ability to make a self-interested choice during sex and asked a student about how often she gets choked. In my experience, choking and having unprotected sex can be choices made to satisfy your partner, rather than purely about your own satisfaction. Nothing about having sex is just about yourself, for most people. The student responded that she is choked during every hookup, whether or not she expressed any prior interest in it.

I wondered why this was a normalized proclivity of college students having one-night stands while other, kinkier, practices were reserved for more experienced practitioners of sex. Maybe having mediocre sex with other college students trying to burn off the stress of the school week is simply more entertaining if choking is involved? Perhaps choking spices things up in a way that the ribbed or flavored condoms distributed by the school fail to? I didnʼt reach a conclusive finding, but I speculate that it is a safer and more accessible option than tying someone up to your lofted bed frame without a headboard. No extra supplies necessary. Hands-on.

Iʼm not really interested in long-term expirationships who have more sex in their mega-beds than most single students. I am interested in how single students are having sex when they’re bored and go to a party with hopes to kiss someone. How are they supposed to navigate the dynamics of having sex on such a small campus that your fun little fling becomes the hot topic of every adjacent friend group by the following week? How do you even have sex with a stranger when you know every other person that guy has slept with, his friend group’s social status, and his extracurricular interests? It is more challenging to juggle the social dynamics involved with having sex on a small campus than it is to be a hot socialite in “Sex and the City.” It is not as simple as showing up to Jenks in your sexiest going-out top. You will probably find yourself deciding whether or not you should acknowledge your one-night stand at Bettyʼs before you figure out how to navigate sex life on campus.