The Amherst to Wall Street Pipeline

Staff writer Andrew Rosin ’25 addresses the culture of selling out into finance, reminding students of their potential to bring Amherst’s interdisciplinary principles to Wall Street.

Amherst Needs an Intro Econ Course for Non-majors

Staff writer Andrew Rosin ’25 outlines why Amherst needs to have an introductory economics course for non-majors, claiming that it would be more accessible to the larger community.

Satire: FAQs About the New Residence Hall Reservation Policy

Staff writer Andrew Rosin ’25 covers the new Student Hosted Events Policy, showcasing its unintentionally humorous aspects.

Satire: What to Know About the Winter Olympics

Andrew Rosin ’25 presents a non-comprehensive guide to understanding the Winter Olympic Games.

Satire: Students Return from Break No More Motivated Than Before

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 comments on student burnout and jokes about students’ desire for another break.

Satire: Attendance Rate Increases by Zero Percent After Daylight Savings

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 notes that the recent shift from daylight savings is not going to be much help in getting students to class on time.

Event Policy Revived, Students Excited to Party for First Time This Year

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ‘25 covers the new Student-Hosted Event Policy and conveys students’ excitement to start partying this year, now that they have the college’s approval.

Satire: Amherst Eliminates Legacy Admission Preference to Make Room for Athletic Admission Preference

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 celebrates Amherst’s recent departure from legacy-preferential admissions as a brilliant step toward getting more athletic recruits on campus.

Satire: Amherst Celebrates 200th Year of Being Students’ Second Choice

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 pokes fun at Amherst’s prestige as it celebrates its Bicentennial through imagined interviews about the college’s role as “the nation’s most prestigious back-up school.”

Satire: New ACPD Report Finds ACPD May or May Not Exist

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 covers ACPD’s latest investigation, an investigation into the very plausibility of its own existence.

Satire by Rosin: Dining Hall Employee Forced to Teach Labor Course

Columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 pokes fun at the fact that the college is suffering from a labor shortage and overworking its staff, in turn advocating for the improvement of the college’s treatment of its employees.