The American Punch Bowl — Walk: Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Cartoonist Alice Burg ’23 downsizes to one masterfully enigmatic panel for this special edition of American Punch Bowl.

Satire: The Bowdoin Orient Staff Bathroom

Satire: Amherst Mantra Advocates for Canceling Students

Managing Editor Liam Archacki ’24 investigates surprisingly uncontroversial takes published in a mysterious new paper circulating around campus.

Satire: FAQs About the New Residence Hall Reservation Policy

Staff writer Andrew Rosin ’25 covers the new Student Hosted Events Policy, showcasing its unintentionally humorous aspects.

Satire: What to Know About the Winter Olympics

Andrew Rosin ’25 presents a non-comprehensive guide to understanding the Winter Olympic Games.

Satire: Attendance Rate Increases by Zero Percent After Daylight Savings

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 notes that the recent shift from daylight savings is not going to be much help in getting students to class on time.

Event Policy Revived, Students Excited to Party for First Time This Year

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ‘25 covers the new Student-Hosted Event Policy and conveys students’ excitement to start partying this year, now that they have the college’s approval.

Satire: Amherst Eliminates Legacy Admission Preference to Make Room for Athletic Admission Preference

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 celebrates Amherst’s recent departure from legacy-preferential admissions as a brilliant step toward getting more athletic recruits on campus.

Satire: Amherst Celebrates 200th Year of Being Students’ Second Choice

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 pokes fun at Amherst’s prestige as it celebrates its Bicentennial through imagined interviews about the college’s role as “the nation’s most prestigious back-up school.”

Satire: New ACPD Report Finds ACPD May or May Not Exist

Satire columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 covers ACPD’s latest investigation, an investigation into the very plausibility of its own existence.

Satire by Rosin: Dining Hall Employee Forced to Teach Labor Course

Columnist Andrew Rosin ’25 pokes fun at the fact that the college is suffering from a labor shortage and overworking its staff, in turn advocating for the improvement of the college’s treatment of its employees.

Williams Who? The Rivalry Between Amherst and Williams Explained

Over the last 200 years, many things have changed about Amherst. The student body is no longer all white, all male and all rich. The smallpox-spreading “Lord Jeff” mascot has been replaced with the image of an extinct animal. And there is a new Science Center which costs almost as much as the GDP of the Republic of the Marshall Islands. However, one aspect of Amherst’s identity has persevered: our infamous rivalry with Williams College. While this tradition largely survives through an annual fo