Satire: Fancy and Festive Costumes for Fall

It’s that magical time of the year when sugary confections land in the palms of our hands, glowing faces carved into orange pumpkins greet us, and fear is turned into something more delicious. You’ve been enjoying the beauty of October, but now it’s time to prepare for the grand finale. How will you celebrate October’s final day? It’s no small feat to honor this grand month with style, but you can do it with some creativity. I’ll even help you out with some costume ideas so you can be your sexiest, most frightening, and funniest self. 

1. A Tesla Roadster. All you need is a cardboard box for the body and a fire extinguisher (you can just take the one in the Science Center) for the bottom thrusters. When you want to hop around the frats — The Triangle — pull the pin, aim at the ground, and squeeze the handle. You can fly right on over to your next destination! For the lazy folks out there, you don’t have to make this costume if you don’t want to. Just go out in your normal wear and tell people you’re still the Tesla Roadster. If they ask where your costume is, tell them it’ll be out in 2040.
2. Various Bettys. If you don’t have any friends, skip this one. If you do, each of you must commit to dressing as Betty: Betty Cooper from Riverdale, Betty Boop, Taylor Swift’s Betty, Betty Suraz, that one grandma of an anonymous rich person, and Cat Valentine from Victorious (for the friend who is no longer part of your group). Watch a lot of television to prepare for this one. Or, go on Pinterest for inspiration. 
3. Dancing With The Stars Inspo. Show everyone you know your pop culture by recreating some of the best looks of the season! Maura in black velvet gown and long black gloves. You could be Guillermo, wearing a sash that reads “Gone Too Soon,” because he was — he should have made it to the finale. Val vs. Carrie Ann vs. a judge holding a paddle that says, “No lifts.”
4. Butternut squash pasta or zucchini cake. Embody the spirit of golden, brown butter baked in colors of a fall sunset. Or sparkle like cream cheese peaking through warm layers of nutmeg, green, and cinnamon. If the costume feels more like a recipe than a costume, you’ve succeeded — and prepare for people commenting on how you’re “eating it up.” If you end up making any extra costumes, bring them to King Hall. Thank you. 
5. Tung Tung Tung Sahur and Ballerina Cappucina. Like Triple T, you can be the enforcer on campus and haunt anyone who is late to the pre and threaten them with a wooden drumstick. To make the drumstick, you can use the wood from the homecoming bonfire. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of wood — just don’t tell the Campus Activities Board. For Ballerina Cappucina, all you really need is a tutu and a cup of Betty’s coffee (you don’t even need to do anything to the coffee to make it look “cursed”). You can offer sips of the coffee to your friends to turn them into singing ballerinas! 
6. An IMAX 70mm film theater. Cut out holes in the sides of a cardboard box for your arms and head. Next, borrow the North Hall shower curtains and place one curtain on each side of the box to make it feel like a real theater. Finally, print out your favorite scene from “The Odyssey” to fit in the “screen” of your television. Now everyone can experience the full 1.43:1 expanded aspect ratio of the movie. 
7. The classic Michael Elliott look. A purple shirt, black pants, and a big smile should do it. Head to your local Spirit Halloween to purchase. This outfit is best complemented by walking a few laps around campus at random times of the day.
8. Sheep detectives. Choose a character from the best movie of 2026! You can be from Lily (natural leader), Mopple (great memory), Sebastian (street-smarts), Zora (curious), Ronnie & Reggie (buff), or Cloud (dramatic, but lowkey irrelevant). No need to purchase anything for the costume; use the Makerspace to design them. A sherpa jacket, brown scarf, and a magnifying glass is recommended. It’ll also keep you nice and warm on Halloween. 

I’m sure you’ll see a lot of these bangers at the Rave, but remember that you can customize each one to be unique. You also probably noticed that many of these costumes have no associated cost. My golden rule is that if you see anything on campus, it’s yours for the taking! Now, be creative, be whimsical, and most importantly, have fun.