Satire: Student Squared: Karl Miller
In this edition of Student Squared, Editor-in-Chief Edwyn Choi ’27 chases Karl Miller as he runs through campus. A little lost, Miller shares his insights on everything from accounting to his family life.
2025-2026
Satire: College Considers Purchasing HingeX for Students
With increasing student loneliness, administration voted to make HingeX subscriptions available college-wise to encourage connection on and off campus. Staff Writer Savita Jani ’28 investigates the reasons for the decision, as well as conflicting opinions given Amherst’s recent financial landscape.
Satire: Editorial: The Mutilation of a Front Yard and the Collapse of Democracy
The Editorial Board of The Amherst Student condemns the administration’s refusal to address the late-night police raid on Professor John Calvin Coolidge Jr.’s yard and its draconian sign ordinances, arguing that this deliberate silence exposes a chilling contempt for political expression.
Satire: Letter to the Editor: A Question For Dean McGayte: Where is my Wife?
Managing Opinion Editor Joey Supik ’27 calls on Dean of Admissions Cupid McGayte to answer directly to him about why he has not met his wife yet here at Amherst.
Satire: Welcome to They/Themherst
Managing Opinion Editor Caroline Flinn ’28 dismantles Amherst’s 50-year celebration and proposes that Amherst become a historically nonbinary institution in pursuit of a more logically consistent future.
Satire: Bathroom Bulletin: Top 10 Amherst College Bathrooms You’ve Never Heard of
Editor-in-Chief Edwyn Choi '27 and Columnists Jenny Chan '28 and Hailey Yoon '28 argue that beneath the college’s polished surfaces lies a hidden network of bathrooms where prestige and bodily reality converge.
Satire: Two Waitlisted Legends Discover The Amherst Student
Editor-in-Chief Anna Wang ’28 and Staff Writer Isha Patel ’28 observe two prospective students dissect articles of The Amherst Student. Though waitlisted by Amherst, the two high-schoolers believe they have uncovered the college’s dark secrets.